In California it’s not ‘no means no,’ but ‘yes means yes.’

If you don’t have sex a lot, then you don’t have to read this post.

And if you do have a lot of sex, then you probably don’t have to read this post, because I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about.

On Sunday, California Mayor Jerry Brown signed a law aiming to crack down on sexual assaults on college campuses. This is a problem because college-aged kids tend to be sexually promiscuous. They also tend to drink a lot of alcohol. Hence, situations are more likely to arise California lawwhere, in hindsight, a sexual encounter may not have been all that consensual.

Universities that receive state funding are required to adopt the rule and educate its students on the difference between consensual sex and sexual assault.

In other words, the commonly known rule for having sex is that you must stop if one partner says “no.” Now, you can’t even begin unless both partners say “yes.”

Ergo, yes means yes.

Advocates of the law are calling on other states to follow California’s lead. So while this new standard may seem a great distance away, it’s a real possibility it could be making its way to a theater near you.

On one hand, it’s easy to say that it’s broadening the definition of sexual assault, and therefore giving women more flexibility to go that route if need be. But at the same time, I’m a staunch defender that if you’re having sex with somebody, it should be pretty damn obvious that both people want to do it.

And let’s face it, it’s meant for men, and for heterosexual sex. It’s in the hands of the guys to ensure that the girl wants to have sex with them, and to abide by this law. It’s either that or you’re a rapist.

When you’re physically having sex with a girl, you should not be “sort of sure” that she wants to do it. You should be pretty damn positive. Like, as in 100 percent positive.

But if you’re a guy who doesn’t get laid a lot, then you don’t really have much to worry about. In fact, you probably could live the rest of your life never knowing this law exists and still be fine. Because if you’re someone who doesn’t have sex a lot — and trust me, I know how you feel — then on the occasions where a girl does actually want to have sex with you, then you’re probably the type of person who asks like 12 times to make sure it’s OK before proceeding.

Which is fine. Nothing wrong with double checking.

It’s the thorough people in life who truly get somewhere. Just not in the bedroom very often.

It’ll be interesting to see how this law is actually enforced, and whether the amount of sexual assaults on college campuses in California do decline over the next few years.

But there’s probably a lot of USC frat bros who aren’t too happy right about now.

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