How Daniel Radcliffe won the Internet last night

Daniel Radcliffe is already universally beloved.

He brought everybody’s favorite boy wizard to life, plus he’s an extremely vibrant and enthusiastic young man. He’s also a talented actor. And he’s English, which means he’s just a little bit better than everybody else.

Basically, he’s my man crush. And that’s before he did what he did on the Tonight Show on Tuesday night.

While conversing with Fallon, Radfcliffe — who is promoting his new movie, Horns — reveals that he’s a big fan of rap music. Not only that, but he said he has talent for memorizing lyrics to complex songs.

He then follows up that admission by flawlessly rapping “Alphabet Aerobics” by the hip hop group Blackalicious, a song where the lyrics flow successively through the letters of the alphabet, from A to Z.

Radcliffe, like most performers, ditches his accent when he sings (or raps). Fallon, meanwhile, stands behind him with cue cards denoting which letter Radcliffe is up to in the track. As he does it, he smiles in awe at what is transpiring, which makes his facial expression come off as borderline creepy.

Watch, and be amazed.

Within minutes, “Danielle Radcliffe” was trending on Facebook. Less than 24 hours later, the video already has more than 4.5 million views on YouTube.

Mr. Radcliffe, bravo. You’ve not only won the Internet, you’ve won the entire week.

Five points for Gryffindor.

Wednesday movie catchup

I’ve seen 10 more 2014 films since I last posted any reviews. Allow me to just scroll through them quickly right now.

This is Where I leave You: A solid cast can’t overcome an overused story arch that’s been done too many times before. It’s about four siblings who return to their small town home to join their mother in mourning their late father. Of course, each sibling has their own personal problems they are dealing with. It tries way too hard to be overly emotional, and gets lost in an overload of subplots. But Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Rose Byrne and Jane Fonda do present a likable cast, and that’s really the one good thing you can say.

Wish I Was Here: I was pretty disappointed with this film, only because I expect better from Zach Braff. His script contains a surprisingly cliché narrative, and, for the most part, pretty unlikeable characters. There are a few quirky Zach Braff touches in there, however, that made us love Garden State so much, like rabbis on segways and people dressed up in space suits. But this tale of self-discovery just didn’t hit the mark for me.

How to Train Your Dragon 2: White not quite as good as its predecessor, it still possesses the magic that’s made the franchise so popular to begin with. Couple that with outstanding animation and a compelling enough story, and you’ve got yourself another hit.

Obvious Child: Two words: Jenny. Slate. The former SNL cast member absolutely shines in this coming-of-age dramedy. There’s a serious amount of laughs in this one. It’s a female-driven comedy about womanhood that isn’t afraid to be raunchy, which is usually reserved for male comedies. So it’s a nice refresher. You wonder how successful the film would have been with any other actress besides Slate, but, it doesn’t matter. A star is born.

Camp X-Ray: Easily Kristen Stewart’s best performance to date. She plays a member of the armed forces who is assigned to oversee detainees in Guantano Bay. While she’s there, she forms a precarious friendship with one of them. It was actually a perfect role to her, because she portrays  just that right combination of fearlessness and vulnerability that fits her character. Terrific performance by her co-star, Peyman Mooadi, as well. The movie also delicately portrays a very controversial subject without placing judgment.

Young Ones: I honestly have no idea what this movie is about. It’s a futuristic, dystopian world with a plot that really didn’t need to be set in a futuristic, dystopian world. Anyway, it takes place in a time where water is extremely hard to come by. No major dilemma is really established that makes you care about the characters, and it’s a shame because it’s a waste of both solid cinematography and Michael Shannon.

White Bird in a Blizzard: Shailene Woodley gets naked. Sorry, I couldn’t really hold that one in. And I guess it’s a commentary on the film that the prevailing memory is nude scenes rather than the actual story. It was an interesting role for her, because she’s really at a point where she could be in any movie she wants without needing to resort to nude scenes. But anyway, the story is somewhat compelling, and it’s supported by a solid supporting cast in Christopher Meloni and Eva Green. There’s a bit of mystery too that will keep the viewer interested. Also, did I mention Shailene Woodley gets naked?

Maps to the Stars: I don’t think a movie will ever be made that has more unlikable characters than Maps to the Stars. But that was the point. Director David Cronenberg creates a satirical drama about the lives of those who get caught up in the Hollywood glamour. It’s a cautionary tale of losing sight of life’s priorities. But you also get an exceptional performance from Julianne Moore. Other than her, the characters are pretty blah. This movie is definitely not for everyone. In fact, it’s probably not for most people.

Enemy: Director Denis Villanueve (Prisoners) has proven that he can make anything dark and suspenseful. Enemy isn’t even that dark of a movie, and yet, haunting music and voyeuristic cinematography gives the viewer an uneasy feeling. It’s about a man who sees his exact lookalike in a movie, and sets out to find him. But it’s a psychological thriller, and you soon discover there’s a lot more than meets the eye.

The One I Love: Mark Duplass has become the king of independent, quirky comedies, and in The One I Love, he’s found his queen in Elizabeth Moss. The pair are fantastic together and share tremendous chemistry, which is ironic, when you consider that they portray a couple in the midst of a strained relationship. Their therapist sends them off to a secluded home for the weekend to resolve their troubles, and they end up finding themselves in an extremely peculiar – supernatural  — situation. It’s a totally original movie with a great script.

Marvel, go away.

Yesterday I read an article that made me feel sicker than any Ebola story ever could.

Marvel Studios announced its plans for its next nine films, to be released before 2019.

That’s right. Nine more superhero films to entrance audiences all over the world. Nine more films that will transform a fictional protagonist to Marvelthe big screen, pitting him or her (but let’s face it, probably him) against a super villian.

Nine more films for comic books fans to endlessly speculate which actor will play these characters, and then criticize once the decision is finally made.

And, more importantly to Marvel, nine more films to cash in billions upon billions of dollars.

Here’s my love letter to the world:

World,

Please stop seeing these movies. By creating such high demand for superhero movies, you are only contributing to the hype. The more money these films gross, the greater their presence will be in mainstream media. Marvel will outspend every other production company in commercials, website advertisements, billboards and banners. Park benches will be draped with pictures of the Hulk. Chris Evans’ face will flash on every high definition screen from Los Angeles to New York City.

But we can stop it. All it takes is a little restraint. We need to understand that every movie follows the same formula. A layman gains supernatural abilities. Concurrently, a bad guy does too. They fight. The good guy wins and gets the girl. A sequel is made. Then, a movie is made where all of these superheroes combine to join forces. One of them is played by Scarlett Johansson.

No more. If we stop talking about these movies, and stop paying to see them, then, and only then, will the Marvel machine be beaten.

Love,

the Weinblog.

Who am I kidding? Each successive Marvel movie will make more money than the last. They could make a movie about a shopping cart and it would still be a summer blockbuster.

My main problem is that these movies are stuffed down our throats. There’s plenty of other films that are released each year. Ones that are unique and based on original scripts — and not from comic books. But they don’t have the funds that Marvel does to advertise extravagantly. And that’s why we are always so privy to whatever Marvel is doing.

Whenever they’re up to something, we’ll know about it. There’s no escaping it.

Ironically, only a superhero can stop them.

I listened to the whole Taylor Swift album today and I have no shame in it

I realized that every time I don’t post for a few days, I must begin my next entry by clarifying that I have not died of Ebola.

Yes, the virus has made its way to my home state. But unless I take a train to Bellevue hospital, walk into the secure, quarantined unit where the victim is being treated, and tell him to spit in my face, then I think I’ll be fine.

And considering that the dude is a doctor who risked his own health to volunteer to treat people in Guinea, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t even spit in my face if I asked him to.

Why am I talking about asking people to spit in my face?

Anyway, we shouldn’t even be worrying about an Ebola outbreak in New York. What we should be worried about is Mali, where a 5-year-old traveled throughout the West African nation, not only Ebola ridden, not only showing symptoms, but with a nosebleed. The toddler has since died, and now officials fear others may catch it. It’s especially significant when you consider that health officials have determined that the ground zero patient of the whole West African outbreak, to begin with, was a 5-year-old.

But enough about Ebola.

What was significant about today? Sure, it’s the 110-year anniversary of the first Subway line opening in New York, but no one cares about that. It’s also been exactly 28 years since the New York Mets beat the Boston Red Sox to win the 1986 World Series. I do care about that, a lot, but it doesn’t fit my narrative so let’s move on.1989

Taylor Swift’s new album, 1989, dropped today.

And yes, albums that are not hip-hip or rap can “drop.”

I listened to the whole thing today. The whole goddamn thing. It’s 61 minutes and two seconds long. And I listened to it. If it makes me sound any better, I listed to it while I did an 8-mile run this evening, which took me 64 minutes to complete.

But who cares about my accomplishments. Back to Taylor.

The album is good. The rest of the tracks are nothing like “Shake it Off,” her satirical, malice-driven anthem against her critics. Rather, the album is more aligned with the second single, “Out of the Woods.”

Swift’s transition from country, where she started, to pop, has been a steady one. But in 1989, she abandons country entirely. The whole album is infused with energy, and Swift kind of tip-toes outside of the confines of today’s pop music. There’s a pleasing balance between conventional and innovation. It’s smooth yet disordered. It’s clear that she attempted to evolve her sound, while experimenting with various elements of pop, and I think she accomplished it.

My personal favorites after one listen are “How You Get the Girl” and “Wonderland.”

Now allow me to address another issue. I don’t care about admitting I like Taylor Swift. I’m secure with my masculinity (or lack thereof), and even more secure with what I believe is my highly sophisticated musical taste. Which also happens to include Taylor Swift.

You know what? I think I’d let Taylor Swift spit in my face.

Yeah, I just made this weird.

 

 

Can people stop linking all of their social media together?

It’s been too long since I’ve had a good, old-fashioned rant.

So let’s do that.

Social media has definitely begun spreading out over the past year or so. Facebook — which, don’t get me wrong, still sits way atop the food chain — tried to dominate. It tried to incorporate everything into one.

facebookinstagramtwitterBut people like variety. They enjoy having an assortment of social media platforms they could pick and choose from. The more apps, the better.

There’s nothing Facebook can do about that. So we have Instagram for pictures, Foursquare for location, Timehop for nostalgia, and Twitter for our most meaningless, futile bits of minutiae that pop into our head and we feel compelled to share.

And yet, some people can’t even be happy with that.

They can’t let these platforms stand alone. So what do they do? They link them together.

I’m not even sure how this is done. I’m assuming there’s an app that allows you to integrate them together, but I don’t know what it is. I hope I never know.

But it’s pretty often when I see a post on Facebook that says it’s directed from Instagram, or Twitter. I see screenshots of people’s Timehop, which, in turn, was taken from Facebook to begin with. What is this madness?

The whole purpose of conforming to these different social media apps is it gives you a greater chance of sharing things with people who will actually care. For example, if you a snap a great photo, of say, a sunset, you can post it on Instagram, where it’ll be appreciated. People go on Instagram with the expectation of seeing photos.

On Facebook, not everyone will give a crap about your sunset.

Likewise, people go on Twitter with the expectation of reading trivial thoughts.

On Facebook, not everyone will give a crap about your trivial thoughts.

So when you post something on Instagram, and then also have it simultaneously post on Facebook and Twitter, it makes me hate you three times.

How starved for attention must people be when they post the same exact thing across multiple social media platforms? How many “likes” do you need, people?

We get it — you need attention. But … you’re also completely abusing the concept of social media altogether. This is 2014 — not 2009. Facebook is for engagement announcements, pregnancy notices, vacation pictures and birthday invites.

It’s not for you to post a picture of your Halloween cookies.

Not only that, but all of your ridiculous Instagram hash tags get carried over, too.

I don’t want to hate you three times. I only want to hate you once.

With all of my venom.

That concludes this rant.

 

 

Seriously, who cares what Renee Zellweger looks li….. OH MY GOD SOMEBODY KILL IT.

Imagine living every day knowing that photographs can be taken of you at any time and published in a major worldwide publication. It’s something you’d actually have to think about when you leave your home. Every time.

If we know we’re being photographed, we dress to the nines. We essentially manipulate our appearance to make ourselves look how we want. Celebrities do not have that luxury. For them, every public appearance is fair game.

Renee Zellweger

How I choose to remember Renee Zellweger

Alright, so this is mostly a problem for women. Guys can throw on a T-shirt and jeans, a ball cap, don’t even have to shave, and will be lauded by fashion magazines.

Women, not so much. No makeup? Ugly.

I’m not saying it’s fair. In fact, I’m saying it’s extremely unfair. Man, I’m glad I’m not a woman.

Renee Zellweger got a nice dose of that reality today. The 45-year-old actress has not been in a movie since 2010, and apparently hasn’t left her home in that time, either. Because when she stepped onto the red carpet on Monday night for an event in California, she looked virtually unrecognizable.

So much so, that Gawker (in the link above), actually posted an update to its article because they were receiving so much feedback from people refusing to believe that the pictures were, in fact, of Renee Zellweger.

I always thought Zellweger received an unfair amount of criticism for her looks. People often questioned how attractive she is, but I always thought she was beautiful. She was an absolute knockout in Jerry Maguire and Me, Myself and Irene, and then she aged, put on a little weight for specific roles, but still looked fine. I always found her trademark puffy cheeks and tight-lipped smile very endearing.

But this version of Renee Zellweger is just … I don’t know. It’s not that she looks bad, she just looks nothing like Renee Zellweger.

This is the struggle that women face. They appear in public looking different, and within hours, the entire world is dissecting their look. And, since it’s the Internet — where people have no problem saying harsh things behind the shelter of a computer screen — the majority of the comments will be negative.

So I do understand how much that sucks. I don’t exactly harp on it, nor will my sympathy last longer than five minutes, but I do acknowledge the shittyness of that predicament.

But when you come out like Renee Zellweger did, looking like someone rearranged your face like a Mrs. Potato Head doll, then I can’t really fault people for wanting to talk about it. I don’t know what the reason is; plastic surgery, methamphetamine, an unfortunate encounter with Ray Rice. I don’t know. You can draw your own conclusions.

She’s making her film comeback next year starring alongside Keanu Reeves — which is another tragedy in itself — and as long as she maintains her quality acting abilities, then who really cares what she looks like?

Other than everybody in the world who is on the Internet?

 

Well played, San Francisco. Well played.

There was a point last year when we all wished we could stop hearing “Royals” on the radio. The song, after becoming a massive hit seemingly overnight, topped the Billboard Hot 100 from Oct. 12 to Dec. 7 — nine straight weeks.

And not because it’s a bad song, but because, like all popular songs, it was overplayed.

Well, the people of San Francisco got their wish. Only it’s just one year late.

The Lorde single has unofficially been banned by San Francisco radio stations for the duration of the World Series, because of its connection Lorde Royalsto the team’s American League opponent: the Kansas City Royals.

The New Zealand pop star admitted several months ago that the song was inspired by an old picture she once saw of Hall of Fame Royals third baseman George Brett, who was signing autographs with the word “Royals” emblazoned on the front of his jersey. Last April, Lorde finally met Brett in person.

And now, with the Royals and the Giants set to begin their Best-of-seven matchup on Tuesday night, the city of San of Francisco will temporarily be devoid of “gold teeth, grey goose, trippin’ in the bathroom, blood stains, ball gowns, trashin’ the hotel room…”

But they don’t care.

They’re chasing a World Series ring in their dreams.

I personally find this amusing because I enjoy when pop culture and sports intertwine, especially when it’s all in good fun. There’s no word yet on whether San Francisco is also boycotting Lorde’s other singles, like “Team,” which, ironically, has much less to do with sports than “Royals” does.

One other connection to the song Royals and the Kansas City Royals? This video made by a Royals fan. I highly recommend watching.

But if you’re a Kansas City radio station, shouldn’t you try to strike back? Find a San Francisco Giants-themed song to outlaw?

Like, uh, that song, with the giant … thing … in it. I got nothing. How about just ban the show Full House from television for a week? Done.

Since Lorde has shown a fantastic ability to take a joke in stride — based on her positive reaction to a recent South Park parody — I’m sure she has no problem with this whole thing. In fact, she should totally hop on a flight to San Francisco and perform a free concert just for the fun of it. Now that would be awesome.

Now, my next question is … when will the entire country pick up on San Francisco’s lead and ban Nicki Minaj?

Forever.

2014 Movie reviews: Calvary, 22 Jump Street, Million Dollar Arm, Cold in July and Lucy

Calvary

Filmmaker John Michael McDonough is the younger brother of Martin McDonough, who wrote and directed the amazing In Bruges in 2008. John Michael teamed up with Brendan Gleeson for the crime comedy The Guard in 2011, and this year, the two are back at it with Calvary, a very different piece of work from that of three years earlier.

CalvaryIt’s a pure drama, about an honest, good-natured priest, who, in the beginning of the film, receives a death threat. He’s told during a confessional that he will be shot and killed at the end of the week. But the priest, Father James, played by Gleeson, doesn’t fret. In fact, he goes about his life as normal, interacting with the various people in his hometown in Ireland. The characters he interacts with are all unscrupulous, and each have their own vices, which they have no problem pouring onto their resident priest. But they’re not seeking redemption.

The exception being James’s daughter, a lovely redhead named Fiona, played by Kelly Reilly, who, besides her father, seems be the only one with a moral compass.

I found the movie to be very cynical. It’s as if it was created simply to point out that humans are extremely flawed people. Which … we probably are, but I didn’t need it expounded on me for the better part of two hours.

But Gleeson is terrific in the film. He is in practically every scene, injecting stability and calmness into the film amid the revolving door that is the surrounding cast. And of course, hanging over the film is the looming anticipation as to whether the death threat will come to fruition.

I’d recommend this film if you are looking for a solid lead performance with some appealing cinematography of the Irish countryside, but not so much if you are seeking a thrilling story.

22 Jump Street

21 Jump Street taught us that Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are an unbelievable comic duo. The new Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn. Or Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. So we just had to see them again.
22 Jump Street
That’s pretty much what 22 Jump Street is all about: the comedic exchanges between the two. As long as the funny dialogue continued, along with the running joke of them returning to an educational institution they’re obviously way too old for, then the story itself really doesn’t matter.

In that regard, it delivers. It’s funny. There’s great lines and a humorous supporting cast as well, aided by Jillian Bell, of Workaholics fame. The story is definitely a bit dumber than its predecessor, which may matter to some, but in the grand theme of things, it’s superfluous.

In 21 Jump Street, it was Jonah Hill’s character that found himself highly enjoying the high school life, losing focus of their task at hand. This time, its Tatum’s character that becomes immersed in the college life, even joining the school’s football team.

Otherwise, the plot basically follows the same formula — they’re trying to catch the supplier of a new, dangerous drug that has hit campus, called WHYPHY — Work Hard Yes Play Hard Yes. While they do it, humor ensues.

There probably won’t be a funnier movie that comes out this year.

Million Dollar Arm

As a huge baseball fan, I’m surprised I hadn’t previously known about this story that Disney transferred to the big screen, about a sports agent who created a competition in India to recruit cricket players to play professional baseball.

Million Dollar ArmThe result was the first two India natives to sign with a professional baseball team. It’s a great premise for a movie, and Disney jumped on it.

Jon Hamm plays the agent, J.B. Bernstein, who pretty much plays a character that we all envision Jon Hamm to be like in real life: a wealthy, womanizing career-driven bachelor with impeccably sleek hair, who, out of desperation, conceives the competition to resurrect his floundering sports agency.

He finds a wealthy backer to fund the contest, called “Million Dollar Arm,” and then he’s off to India, where Disney surely takes liberties with the story to add cliché elements of overcoming adversity, heroism, yada yada yada. But Disney does that better than any one else, so it’s no big deal.

Half of the film is Bernstein in India running his competition, and the second half is the two winners adapting to life in America, while trying to convince Major League Baseball scouts they can pitch in the Major Leagues. There’s also a love interest for Hamm (Lake Bell), because … it’s a movie.

But it’s a nice, heartwarming story that stems from actual events, and should resonate to both baseball and non-sports fans alike. You can look up on Wikipedia to discover whether the Indian players succeeded, or you can just remember that it’s a Disney movie and assume what happened.

Cold in July

Original stories are becoming harder to come by in mainstream Hollywood, and that is what makes Cold in July so refreshing.

Yes, it’s adapted from a book, but not a book that is widely known, at all.

The dark tone of the film reminded me of Blue Ruin, a suspense thriller that used creative cinematic techniques and mystery to build its story.Cold in July

The beginning plays out like Cape Fear. Michael C. Hall plays a father, Richard Dane, who shoots and kills an intruder in his home in the middle of the night. It’s labeled as self-defense by local police, and the case is closed. But … Dane’s family soon becomes terrorized by the intruder’s father, played by Sam Shepard, who was just recently released from jail himself.

It seems likes it’s heading to be your typical stalker-thriller from there, but then the plot starts taking twists and turns. So much so, that it almost becomes a bit schizophrenic. Plot points that were important early become lost, and characters’ specific motivations become unclear.

A private investigator shows up midway through the film, played by Don Johnson, whose existence is extremely crucial to the plot.

But the film’s excitement and creative storytelling makes up for it, and in the end, you have a solid movie with fine camerawork and splendid acting by its three leads.

I was particularly impressed with Michael C. Hall, who I thought would never be able to shake the Dexter stigma. But he plays a very different character than Dexter in this one. He’s a blue-collared, mullet wearing, timid family man whose life is devoid of adventure, unlike the serial-killing detached lone her played on TV.

It won’t get much love from the masses, mostly because very few will see it, but this film was a good one.

Lucy

Like 2012’s Limitless, this Luc Besson film plays with the idea of exploring the amazing potential of the human brain. Except Lucy takes that idea to the next level. There’s a common myth that humans only 10 percent of their brain. Scientists have dispelled that theory, but Lucy runs with it anyway.

Scarlett Johansson plays a blonde American bimbo named Lucy who’s studying abroad in Taiwan. By a stroke of bad luck, she gets pulled into a plot Lucywhere she’s taken hostage and unwillingly becomes a mule for an experimental drug. That drug is placed in a bag inside her stomach, and then, when she’s physically abused by her captors, it breaks, spilling the bag’s entire contents into her blood stream,  and exposing her to the drug’s full capabilities.

Its effects allow her to utilize the depths of her brain that no human could. Numbers flash across the screen every few minutes to indicate to the viewer just how much her brain she is using — 15 percent, then 25, then  40, and so forth.

Lucy goes from gaining superhuman strength, to being able to absorb a textbook of information in a matter of moments, to being able to control time and space.

It’s a pretty ambitious film, and quite entertaining, but is a lot less intelligent than it sounds. I don’t think enough is conveyed in the movie to indicate exactly what Lucy is experiencing from a mental standpoint. And since that’s the film’s basis, I think more time should have spent on it. Instead, too much time is spent on action sequences, and it basically just becomes a subpar superhero film.

The more “aware” Lucy becomes, the more detached she also becomes as an actual person. Therefore, Scarlett Johansson intentionally plays the role very blank and emotionless, which is kind of a waste of her acting abilities.

I never thought I’d say this, but Lucy should have devoted less time to action scenes, and amped up the science. *Cue Jesse Pinkman, “Yea science!” Breaking Bad. gif*

 

Great. We’re as stupid in real life as we are in movies.

When watching movies that depict a nationwide epidemic of a contagious and deadly disease, like 1995’s Outbreak, or 2011’s Contagion, one can’t help but laugh.

Not because we enjoy seeing millions of people die in a number of days, but because it’s pure fiction. We think, “we’re not stupid enough to do these things in real life, right?”

We’d like to think that our healthcare professionals, government, and just people in general are intelligent enough to understand the ramifications and danger of spreading a deadly virus. You don’t have to be brilliant. You just have to not be an idiot.

For example, if you know that you were somewhere where you are liable to be exposed to a virus, then you should be closely monitoring yourselfEbola for symptoms, avoiding crowded public places, and absolutely avoid airplanes.

I mean, airplanes are the cardinal sin. That’s like the #1 rule of not spreading disease. If you want to go to work, be my guest. Infect your coworkers. If you want to go to your nearest Walmart, then you’re really stupid, but still, at least an outbreak could still be prevented at that point.

If you get on an airplane, you’re pretty much just sending a giant “Fuck you” to the human race. Because now you’re making the disease airborne, and threatening our extinction.

And, if you were previously in a situation where you are at high risk to catch a disease, and start showing symptoms, and still don’t take proper precautions, then you’d like to think that a doctor or a nurse will do it for you. They’ll quarantine you and prevent whatever you have from spreading.

I’m talking about people who either just traveled to a country afflicted with disease, or a healthcare professional who was treating a patient with an infectious disease. Those are the people who should be high alert.

In the movies, there’s always an idiot who doesn’t take those necessary precautions, and starts the outbreak.

But that would never happen in real life, right? We’re smart enough to —

Wait, what’s that? You said a second Dallas nurse was infected with Ebola on Thursday? And she … did what? SHE GOT ON A GOD DAMN AIRPLANE?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME. WHAT THE HELL.

In the words of a teenage girl, — I can’t even.

Amber Joy Vinson, 29, a nurse who treated the first Ebola victim in the U.S., Eric Thomas Duncan, at the Texas Health Prsbyterian Hospital, was also exposed to the disease.

Days later, she got on commercial flight to Cleveland. 

No, she was not showing specific symptoms of Ebola at the time, but she did reportedly have a high temperature of 99.5 degrees at the time of her flight.

So let’s get this straight. She treated an Ebola victim. She was a threat to contract the virus herself. She was experiencing a high temperature. So she got on an airplane. Makes perfect sense. The worst part? She allegedly called federal officials before boarding the flight, and was given the OK.

This isn’t even worth a face palm. This is worth smashing your head into a desk.

At this point, we deserve whatever happens next. We all deserve Ebola. Government officials say the passengers on the plane with Vinson are at “low risk” because she wasn’t showing symptoms just yet, but, at this juncture, I don’t really trust what anybody says.

I’m just in awe that the idiotic things that happen in a movie also happen in real life.

What other movie cliches are true? Do people really run upstairs when they’re being chased in their home by a masked serial killer?

Does making a toast with your friends about losing your virginity guarantee that you will lose your virginity?

Is Hogwarts real?

I don’t know what to believe anymore.

 

People love to let other people know about the book they are reading

Not everybody reads. But when they do read, they love to let other people know that they are reading.

Totally unprovoked, people will begin a sentence with, “So I’m reading this book …”

It’s the mental equivalent of working out. When people are really going through a good stretch of exercising, they’ll find a way to work it readinginto the conversation. “Oh man, my arms are so sore from working out yesterday…”

It’s the same philosophy with reading.

The book doesn’t even have to be impressive. You don’t need to be reading Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy to flaunt the fact that you are reading a book. You could be reading the latest young adult dystopian novel and still show off. When you read, there’s no such thing as a wrong book. You’re automatically smarter than anybody else who isn’t reading.

But when did we get to the point where simply opening a book is an accomplishment? Was it the onset of the digital and social media age?

When do you ever hear somebody talk about the book that they finished? When someone says they are “reading a book,” for all I know, they could be on page 2.

This primarily applies to people who do not read a lot. Those who are constantly reading, and who immediately finish a book only to open another, don’t usually bring up their novels of choice without being asked about it first.

Again, I’ll bring up the gym comparison. Those who work out regularly don’t really talk about their specific workouts. Because it’s just something that’s a normal part of their life.

Reading is as stimulating to the mind as working out is to the muscles. Both are equally beneficial. One makes you strong physically, and the other makes you strong mentally.

It’s especially important to read once you’ve finished your formal schooling. Because, where else are you learning? If you’re not going to have a professor tell you things anymore, and you’re going to do the same thing at your job every day, then it’s up to us to challenge ourselves. Reading accomplishes that. And yes, even YA novels can stir the imagination.

That all being said … I am reading book.

I like to think of myself as an avid reader. However, I have been in a bit of a rut lately. As in, I haven’t actually completed a book in about five months. However, I’m more than halfway through “In the Kingdom of Ice: The Grand and Terrible Polar Voyage of the USS Jeanette” by Hampton Sides, a nonfiction book that recreates the ill-fated American voyage of a group of explorers in the late 1800s attempting to become the first to reach the North Pole. It’s quite riveting.

You see what I did here? I created an entire post just to talk about the book I am currently reading.

Tomorrow, I may even bring the book with me to the gym.

People are really going to love talking to me this week.