Great. We’re as stupid in real life as we are in movies.

When watching movies that depict a nationwide epidemic of a contagious and deadly disease, like 1995’s Outbreak, or 2011’s Contagion, one can’t help but laugh.

Not because we enjoy seeing millions of people die in a number of days, but because it’s pure fiction. We think, “we’re not stupid enough to do these things in real life, right?”

We’d like to think that our healthcare professionals, government, and just people in general are intelligent enough to understand the ramifications and danger of spreading a deadly virus. You don’t have to be brilliant. You just have to not be an idiot.

For example, if you know that you were somewhere where you are liable to be exposed to a virus, then you should be closely monitoring yourselfEbola for symptoms, avoiding crowded public places, and absolutely avoid airplanes.

I mean, airplanes are the cardinal sin. That’s like the #1 rule of not spreading disease. If you want to go to work, be my guest. Infect your coworkers. If you want to go to your nearest Walmart, then you’re really stupid, but still, at least an outbreak could still be prevented at that point.

If you get on an airplane, you’re pretty much just sending a giant “Fuck you” to the human race. Because now you’re making the disease airborne, and threatening our extinction.

And, if you were previously in a situation where you are at high risk to catch a disease, and start showing symptoms, and still don’t take proper precautions, then you’d like to think that a doctor or a nurse will do it for you. They’ll quarantine you and prevent whatever you have from spreading.

I’m talking about people who either just traveled to a country afflicted with disease, or a healthcare professional who was treating a patient with an infectious disease. Those are the people who should be high alert.

In the movies, there’s always an idiot who doesn’t take those necessary precautions, and starts the outbreak.

But that would never happen in real life, right? We’re smart enough to —

Wait, what’s that? You said a second Dallas nurse was infected with Ebola on Thursday? And she … did what? SHE GOT ON A GOD DAMN AIRPLANE?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME. WHAT THE HELL.

In the words of a teenage girl, — I can’t even.

Amber Joy Vinson, 29, a nurse who treated the first Ebola victim in the U.S., Eric Thomas Duncan, at the Texas Health Prsbyterian Hospital, was also exposed to the disease.

Days later, she got on commercial flight to Cleveland. 

No, she was not showing specific symptoms of Ebola at the time, but she did reportedly have a high temperature of 99.5 degrees at the time of her flight.

So let’s get this straight. She treated an Ebola victim. She was a threat to contract the virus herself. She was experiencing a high temperature. So she got on an airplane. Makes perfect sense. The worst part? She allegedly called federal officials before boarding the flight, and was given the OK.

This isn’t even worth a face palm. This is worth smashing your head into a desk.

At this point, we deserve whatever happens next. We all deserve Ebola. Government officials say the passengers on the plane with Vinson are at “low risk” because she wasn’t showing symptoms just yet, but, at this juncture, I don’t really trust what anybody says.

I’m just in awe that the idiotic things that happen in a movie also happen in real life.

What other movie cliches are true? Do people really run upstairs when they’re being chased in their home by a masked serial killer?

Does making a toast with your friends about losing your virginity guarantee that you will lose your virginity?

Is Hogwarts real?

I don’t know what to believe anymore.


2 thoughts on “Great. We’re as stupid in real life as we are in movies.

  1. This is pretty terrifying, actually. At the gym there was a news report of a student with “Ebola like Symptoms” At Yale-New Haven. A quick 45 minute drive from my house. I’m probably going to say one of the worst things I can, but it makes me want to re-watch and reread old news reports of Anthrax just to remind myself of better times.

  2. To be fair, Ebola-like symptoms are pretty much the same as the flu. So you’re going to see a lot of people overreact

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