The more we talk about Kim Kardashian’s magazine cover, the more she gets what she wants

Somehow, the world was stunned today when Kim Kardashian showed her bare exterior on the front cover of a magazine.

This is Kim Kardashian. The same woman who was in a sex tape.

The same woman who’s already posed nude for Playboy.

The same woman who allows nearly every moment of her spoiled existence to be televised.

The same woman who allowed a two-part special of her wedding to air on television and then filed for divorce 72 days later.

And the same woman who then married one of the most controversial figures in popular culture today.

Kardashian

Given her track record, it’s pretty event that she enjoys publicity, regardless of why she’s getting it. This was further evidenced by her front page photo that was revealed today on the cover of Paper magazine. In the photo, which you’ve all probably seen, she’s lowering her dress to reveal her ridiculously shiny backside.

Even worse is the incredibly pretentious headline, “Break the Internet, Kim Kardashian.” It’s assuming that because Kardashian is doing something bold, the world is going to suddenly fawn over her. And sadly, they probably will.

While the Internet is still in tact as of Wednesday evening, it certainly has been abuzz about this photo. Most have been quick to point out the extravagant and poorly done photoshop job done to tighten Kim’s waist, and how the color on her skin doesn’t even match up in some parts.

But by placing focus on the magazine, we are giving Kim exactly what she wants. Why else take this photo? It’s not artistic. It’s not even in a prestigious magazine known to print photos like this.

Speaking of which, what kind of name for a magazine is Paper? That’s like starting a record label and calling it “Music.”

It’s scary to think that Kim Kardashian is a mother, and that in a few years, her child will be able to access this photo, as well as her sex tape.

Chelsea Handler, who’s been very eager to expose herself on social media lately, wasted no time countering the photo with one of her own.

Kim Kardashian wants us to break the Internet. I say, keep the Internet flawlessly conjoined.

Tweet it with me: #ConjoinTheInternet.

That won’t catch on.

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