Up until yesterday, I didn’t think I’d ever see somebody or something so frightening that it could leave a permanent imprint in my mind and forever haunt my dreams.
Maybe it was possible when I was a kid. When I was much more unaware, naive and easier to scare.
But after 27 years of living, things like horror movie villains, clowns and insects stop scaring you. It’s pretty amazing how much humans are scared of bugs. They’re so freaking tiny and are infinitely more scared of us than we are of —
HOLY SHIT IS THAT A SPIDER ON MY WALL? SOMEBODY KILL IT NOW. Oh, wait, it’s a black speck. Sorry.
Growing old sucks.
But again, this was until yesterday, when I saw the story about the 23-year-old guy who had cosmetic surgery to make himself look like Kim Kardashian. I warn you … the images are terrifying.
There’s really not much to actually say. I can’t imagine there’s a single person in the world who doesn’t think this is one of the stupidest things they’ve ever heard.
Kim Kardashian is one of the last people that anybody should ever want to resemble. Even if you’re a woman. But for a man to do it is just incomprehensible. He doesn’t even look human. Those lips are seriously going to visit me in my nightmares for the foreseeable future, and that is as a horrible of a thought as it sounds.
I’d rather dream about being trapped in the Hunger Games dome with the world’s most famous serial killers and horror movie villains than ever see that face again.
He also spent $150,000 to do this. It’s literally the worst thing I’ve ever heard in every facet.
I’d make fun of somebody who dressed up like Kim Kardashian for Halloween. Heck, I’d make fun of somebody who said they might consider dressing up like Kim Kardashian for Halloween. But this guy decided to do it permanently. Like, for the rest of his life.
And did I mention that he still managed to look nothing like Kim Kardashian? He looks like a mutant from an X-Men movie.
Oh well. I guess people like this need to exist so that when we fuck up our own lives, we can look at this guy, and say, at least we didn’t do that.