A few months ago I pleaded for the Islamic militant group ISIS to stop beheading people. I made this request because it’s probably the least enjoyable thing in the world to read a news story about. Hearing about somebody dying via an execution-style beheading on public video is enough to ruin your day.
ISIS apparently listened, but not at all in the way that I meant it.
A new video released by the terrorist organization reveals that they killed their latest hostage, a Jordanian pilot they shot down in December, by lighting him on fire.
Come the fuck on.
There’s savagery. Then there’s this.
I don’t know what’s worse — that this is happening, or that it’s happening and people are not altogether that surprised by it. Because it’s ISIS.
A group so heinous that even Al Qaeda wanted nothing to do with them.
If an alien race just learned about humans’ existence today, and discovered that there are groups of people who violently massacre other humans in this way, wouldn’t they conclude that we are the worst life form to ever exist? Who does this to each other?
Yes, animals kill each other. But it’s part of nature. They do it to survive. Lions fight one another to the death to prove they are king of the pack. But they challenge one another. The lions have a choice. I honestly have no idea if this is true or not, because I have never witnessed a lion battle royale, but I assume that is proper lion etiquette.
In this instance, ISIS is killing innocent people. The Jordanian pilot was a part of his country’s militia, but before this, most of their other victims — including the Japanese man last week — were journalists. The only weapon they know how to wield is a pen.
I’m scared to even ask them again to stop, because who knows what they’ll come up with next.
So instead let me lighten the mood. While ISIS execution videos may be the worst thing the Internet has to offer, Jimmy Kimmel’s Mean Tweets segment may be the best.
Twitter has given people the nerve to say whatever they want knowing they can do it anonymously behind a computer screen and without fear of repercussion. 99 percent of people would never say to somebody’s face the things they write on Twitter. As a result, all public figures are constantly insulted in the most nefarious of ways.
Jimmy Kimmel exploited this concept — and by doing so found a way to combat the haters in a humorous way — by having celebrities read these tweets live, and letting the audience see their reaction to it. It’s comedy gold, and the way most celebrities handle it, usually by laughing it off, makes it that much better.
On Monday, Kimmel posted Mean Tweets — Music Edition #2 on his YouTube page. And it’s splendid.
But let’s face it. If that that alien race came to Earth and watched this video first, they’d probably still come to the same conclusion that we’re pretty screwed up people.