My worst transportation fears realized, and Jimmy Fallon’s latest brilliance

I have three major fears when it comes to public transportation.

1) That someone will push me onto tracks when I’m waiting for a subway.

2) That my car will get stuck on top of railroad tracks that intersect a street.

3) That I will one day see a plane crash happen before my eyes.

Two of those things happened this week. Not to me. That would be pretty miraculous. But in the world.

Here in New York, the Metro-North Railroad was the unfortunate victim of a stranded sport-utility vehicle whose driver astonishingly failed to move even when the crossing gate had fallen and the warning sirens were blasting. The train hit the car dead on, killing the driver and five people in the train. 

Taiwan plane crashNearly 8,000 miles away, in Taiwan, dashboard cameras in cars driving along an elevated highway captured footage of a plane descending directly in front of them, clipping a taxi cab and crashing into a river, killing more than 30 people.

Just look at the picture. Or better yet, a video clip of it happening.

If you’re reaction isn’t “Oh, look! A plane is coming dow — OH WHAT THE MOTHER *&%$#!@” then there is probably something wrong with you.

As someone who lives relatively close to JFK airport, it’s certainly not uncommon to see a plane descend over you. But when it happens, you trust that it’s going to end up where it’s supposed to be. On a runway. So watching it spin sideways as it nears the ground is absolutely horrifying.

These were all freak accidents, so there’s no reason to go boycotting all forms of mass transit and move to Amish country just yet, regardless of how awesome it seemed when you went there for your third grade field trip.

It is definitely is a warning that we should always be vigilant. Numbers 1 and 2 on my major fears list are avoidable if you exercise caution. If number 3 happens, well that’s just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But enough about disaster and catastrophe. You know who isn’t a disaster? Jimmy Fallon.

The man’s ascension in late night lore has been remarkable. He long ago earned public approval, but lately he’s Fallon SBTBsoared to new heights. You have to give a lot of credit to him and his team for their innovation.

They’re doing so many things with their celebrity guests that each show produces a viral video, and is must-see TV. I don’t want to skip his show anymore because I know I’ll miss something awesome. I know they put everything on YouTube the next day, but it’s always better to see it when it first airs, so you can tell people the next day, “Oh yeah, I totally saw that shit live,” and try to sound cool.

Fallon’s antics have gained so much positive attention that it’s reached the point where he could pretty much do anything. If he wanted to, he could probably get Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin in the same room tomorrow to settle the Russia-Ukraine crisis.

But instead, he does other awesome things, like reuniting most of the Saved by the Bell cast.

This was awesome for so many reasons. There’s humor, nostalgia, a couple cheap shots, all that good stuff. But the most astounding part, to me, is that they all look exactly the same 25 years later. Well, except Belding.

And Tiffani Thiessen, aka Kelly Kapowski, still looks like the dream girl we all fantasized about when we were in high school.

The ones who, one day, will regret not going out with me.

One day.

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