In South Korea, using a selfie stick can result in jail time. Think about that for a second.
One of the many complaints about selfies is that it usually doesn’t end up being a very good picture. Arms are only so long. All you end up photographing are close-up faces and maybe a tiny bit of the background.
A Canadian inventor brilliantly foresaw this conundrum 10 years ago, and invented the selfie stick, a rod that holds your phone in place, allowing you to take your own photo with a further scope and wider angle. It’s technically still a selfie since you’re the one taking it. You’re just getting a better picture.
Major international museum have gone on the offensive against such sticks. The Metropolitan Museum of Art forbids them. They’re also banned at the National Gallery of Art in Washington D.C.
The reason is because these sticks invade other people’s personal space. You’re no longer extending beyond an arm’s length, but by multiple feet. And people who take selfies are generally idiots, so they’re likely to not use proper caution.
South Korea is so strict because many selfie sticks use Bluetooth technology. By law, it makes it a telecommunications device, which must be certified. Anyone who’s caught using it illegally can be fined and jailed for three years.
I’m cool with that.
I always assumed selfies were more of a novelty than actual photography. No one takes a selfie with the expectation of it being a good picture. But if you’re using a selfie stick — which you actually paid money to own — then it clearly means that you want to actually use it to take quality photos.
I’d also assume that using a selfie stick is still a very imperfect process. You have to maneuver the stick to line up the photo exactly how you want it, all the while maintaining your best smile and staying still. That does not sound very easy.
What ever happened to that old technique called, uh…. asking somebody to take the damn photo?
With an actual human being behind the camera, you’ll get an appealing image that is devoid of intrusive sticks and careless wand waving. You also get the special bonus of interacting with another person, which is becoming rarer and rarer in today’s society.
But most of all, by simply not purchasing a selfie stick, you don’t look like a moron.
I’ve been very critical of a lot of different fashion accessories and trends over the years, but this is probably the worst one. I’d be less judgmental if you walked around with a fake wand and genuinely believed you were a wizard than if you carried a selfie stick.
It should also be legal to steal a selfie stick from somebody and beat them with it. I think I might call my local state senator and pitch that to them.
Traditional selfies may be annoying, and unappealing to see on Instagram, but at least they’re harmless.
Damn. I never thought the day would come where I would not only be defending selfies, but that I’d have to make the distinction of calling them “traditional” selfies.
That’s it. I’m officially reverting back to a Polaroid camera.