Net neutrality gained a big a victory today in — OH MY GOD LLAMAS

Few people realize how close we came to having an Internet that would’ve forced users to pay extra money for the type of content they wished to see.

A proposal last year by the Federal Communications Commission would have let major telecommunications companies like Verizon and AT&T create costly “fast lanes” for those who could afford it and “slow lanes” for those who couldn’t.

Thus began the net neutrality movement, with people advocating that the Internet should remain open and nondiscriminatory. Due to heavy public and political backlash to the proposal, the FCC changed course and instead Llamaproposed a new plan that they say would strongly protect net neutrality.

On Thursday, the plan was approved by the FCC, which will officially declare the Internet as a public utility, but more importantly, keep it as a level playing field and ensure that no content will be blocked to users.

So people needn’t ever have known about this, because nothing will really change. But had the original proposal been implemented, it sure as hell would have impacted a lot of people.

But you know what? Who cares about this, because LLAMAS WERE ON THE LOOSE IN ARIZONA.

This is one of those things where, no matter what you are doing, it’s going to catch your attention. There could have been a murder trial going on, and if the judge suddenly stopped somebody’s testimony and said there’s a mad chase ongoing to catch two escaped llamas live on television, then nobody would have even thought about anything else except that.

An amazing edited video shows the entire plight of the llama’s sojourn, which amazingly weaved in and out of traffic without them getting hit by cars. One llama was black and one was white, and of course, as FOX News pointed out, the the black one was detained first. 

Honestly, do the details even matter? Do we need to know why there were two llamas running rampant in Sun City, Arizona? All that matters is that it happened.

Alright, fine. I’ll humor you. Apparently the llamas were being shown to seniors in a retirement home as entertainment, and they got away. I told you it was a boring story.

My question is: what other crimes happened in this five minute interval in which the entire Arizona police department was preoccupied with catching these llamas? Seems to me like the whole city was one big free-for-all.

And during this chase, I, like I assume the rest of the world, was strongly rooting for the llamas.

One day, we will live in a world where llamas can roam freely.

I await that day.

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