Since graduating college six years ago — which is a terrifying thought in itself — I have had a reoccurring dream that I am not only back in school, but that I have neglected all semester long to attend one of my classes.
Inevitably, I wake up from this dream with a sense of deep relief that I have not actually missed out on this class, and that college is long over.
Now, I fully understand why I have this dream, and it’s because it has a basis in truth.
I was a slacker in college. Big time. If I knew I could get away with missing a class, and still somehow pass, I’d do it — so much so, that one class in particular I attended only three times all semester. For whatever reason, I was content with B’s and C’s rather than putting forth the effort to get the A.
And while I was fine with it then, the thought scares the shit of out of me now. How could I have been so irresponsible? Why did I shirk my one requirement of college of going to class?
I still did manage to graduate on time in four years. And I think that the fact that it does frighten me how irresponsible I was is actually a good thing. Because it means I now understand and fully grasp the importance of responsibility. Better late than never.
And that’s where this dream comes in.
I have this dream so often that I actually Googled it one day to get a more scientific explanation of its meaning. And crazily enough, the best possible analysis came not from a professor, not from anybody with a PhD — but from Yahoo answers.
What this one random ass dude with the username “Right Guard” surmised — and which fits my life perfectly — is that the dream is a reflection of how much I’ve matured since my days in college, and the sense of regret I have for not trying harder back then. He also brilliantly noted that my mind is probably adding some of today’s issues into the mix, thus furthering the anxiety.
Basically, a stick of deodorant made sense of my life.
But, as I said, while I do regret my college behavior, at least I’ve learned from it. That you can’t get by in life on bare minimum effort. And now that I have been working full time for five years, I finally feel like I am hitting my stride and really gaining more professional confidence with each passing day.
And that’s what makes my most recent dream even more special.
Last week, I once again had this reoccurring dream — of being in college and neglecting class — but it was different. In the dream, I consciously realized that this was the past, and that I am on top of my shit now. Again, this all happened in the dream.
I woke up feeling empowered. My unconscious mind was sending me a message. Honestly, I’ve received accolades at my job, but nothing felt like greater positive reinforcement in life than this dream.
Finally, after years of dreaming about my past regrets, my mind has made peace with itself. The way I see it, it was my inner psyche’s way of saying, “Don’t worry about it anymore, man. Everything is good. You’re on the right track.”
And for that, I think I deserve a high five.
Anyone? Somebody lay it on me. I’ll even close my eyes, and whoever wants to go ahead, I’ll take it with no questions asked. No? Nothing? OK. No big deal. We’ll work on it.
Instead, let’s all enjoy this heartwarming and tear-jerking clip of a soldier surprising his mother and father before a NHL game this weekend.
This family deserves a high five.