An exercise in political theater

It’s been a very interesting last few days if you care about politics.

Actually, screw politics. What’s been happening in this early road to the 2016 presidential election has been pure entertainment. The Republican debate last week was political theater. Virtually nothing could have happened last Thursday that would have any impact on the election. Why? Because it’s still 15 freaking months way.

It was pointless. And the only reason it happened was to give Donald Trump a platform to speak, for better or worse.

Trump KellyAnd speak he did. Honestly, I have to give a little credit to Fox News. They’re Republican apologists, sure, but they went pretty hard at these candidates. They made each one answer for their shortcomings. Which led to some controversy.

Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly said that Trump has called women he didn’t like “pigs,” “slobs,” and “disgusting animals,” which Trump took offense to, and later remarked that Kelly “has blood coming out of her whatever.”

Trump then said his comment was not meant to be an insinuation towards menstruation, and that he’s too smart to say something that stupid. Could have fooled me.

But the fact that this is the prevailing news coming out of the debate showed that Trump is all anybody really cared about. Fox News knew that, and that’s why he had by far the most speaking time of any other candidate, and more than double that of the candidate with the least speaking time, Rand Paul.

For moderate politicos, just sit back and enjoy the show. it’s not until next February or March at the earliest when we actually need to start caring who emerges from this cast of characters that, if it wasn’t for the original cast of Jersey Shore, would be the most hopeless group of humans ever assembled.

On the Democratic side, meanwhile, the Bernie Sanders train is picking up more steam. He garnered much attention when he was interrupted on a campaign stop by the Seattle chapter of the advocacy group Black Lives Matter. Internet people (mostly of the white variety) reacted by noting that Bernie is the candidate who has spoken the most strongly about racial justice.

Days later, 28,000 people showed up to see him in Los Angeles.

I’m not going to lie — I think I’m starting to lean more towards Bernie with each passing day. He’s the furthest thing from a demagogue, and he actually had the balls to challenge Hillary. It’s not that I think she’s a bad candidate, but I want to Mars womanhave a choice. I appreciate the competition and I hope the Bernie train keeps rolling.

Finally, let’s end with Mars. The planet no one cares about until an adorably-named space robot lands on it.

A woman-like figure has been spotted in a photo taken by NASA’s Mars rover, Curiosity, that has made conspiracy theorists jizz their pants.

It’s probably just a rock. But let’s pretend it’s a definitive sign of extraterrestrial life. It’s way more exciting.

Real or not real, Donald Trump already thinks she’s a disgusting animal.

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