Every time Kanye West speaks, a puppy dies

I can’t believe I had to watch an entire Kanye West speech to prepare for this post.

I somehow made it through. And my conclusion is that it’s nothing short of painful that this man has a platform to speak on. That people will listen to him. There’s millions of people in the world who have inspiring, thought-provoking things to say, but will never be given a venue in which to express them.

Kanye West has that venue that others can only dream of. And he wastes it with nonsensical, mind-numbing drivel that helps nobody.

Kanye WestOK, so his speech yesterday was actually sincere. He wasn’t really trying to be controversial or combative. That is, until the end, when he declared his bid for presidency in 2020.

A day later, the world is trying to find out if he was being serious or not. But does it really even matter? Donald Trump is running for president right now. Any sanctity or honor that once existed in running for our nation’s highest office is long out the window. There’s no doubt in my mind that, if Kanye ran, he would succeed in the polls.

Ironically, last week, in light of the Deez Nuts amusement, I pleaded for an independent-minded citizen to bravely announce their bid for president. Well, I got it.

Besides my 15-minute belated viewing of Yeezus’s speech, I did not watch the Video Music Awards. I just can’t anymore. It’s too painful and disappointing for me to know that this is what the world now accepts as contemporary popular music. I heard there was some B.S. involving Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus, but I literally could not care less.

Indeed, I care more about the Chinese economy than I do about any feuds between Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj. I guess that means … I’m maturing? Damn, that sucks.

I do know that it was Taylor Swift who introduced Kanye West to accept the Video Vanguard award, whatever the hell that is (hence the speech). It was an obvious ploy by MTV to capitalize on the whole Kanye/Taylor controversy from years ago, and something that was actually acknowledged by Kanye in the beginning of his speech.Taylor and AVril

Taylor, who showed up to the show with her usual cool girl posse, actually did something totally unrelated this past weekend that caught my attention.

Her 1989 world tour has been filled with star-studded cameos by prominent musicians and celebrities, and the other day, she sang a duet with Avril Lavigne, another pop star I have had a crush on at one point or another. They sang “Complicated.” I support this duo.

I coin them: Tayvril. Which could also be some type of cough medicine. Extra strength.

In other news, the Oxford Dictionary added 1,000 new words this week, including aswesomesauce, beer o’clock, bruh and pwnage.

I officially hate everything about the 21st century.

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