Celebrating Facebook friendship anniversaries is a thing now?

The migrant crisis rages on, and Stephen Colbert made his successful Late Show debut last night, but instead I’m going to talk about something completely trivial and borderline meaningless.

I couldn’t help but notice that people are now taking extreme liberties with what qualifies as big news on Facebook.

And I say “I couldn’t help but notice” because while I peruse Facebook several times a day, I don’t typically actually process what’s on there. My friends’ posts containing their frivolous thoughts go in one ear and out the other.

But the site allows people to present their bigger life changes in a different post style, called a “life event.” Its initial intent was reserved for engagements, marriages, pregnancies, births, relocations, new jobs, you get the point.

facebook-friendThere’s really no minimum requirements for what goes on Facebook anymore. People post anything. Hence why I don’t even care enough to use my brain cells to actually process what I am reading.

Unless it’s a “life event.” Those still catch my attention. In fact, when I see the larger font denoting such a post, it usually signals my brain to prep for some really big news. Like some one I knew in college just got married. Or an old high school friend had a kid.

Lately, I’ve been disappointed. Because apparently big life events now include people celebrating their Facebook friendship anniversaries.

Are we being serious here? This isn’t even celebrating the anniversary of the actual date the two people met in person, but instead, the day they clicked on each other’s names on a website and made a friend request. It’s a completely insignificant occurrence.

But the sad truth is that it proves that too many people are becoming too consumed with social media and further disconnected from reality.

To me, Facebook is an entity that has no bearing on my real life. A place I can kill 10 seconds of my time when my undiagnosed ADD distracts me from whatever task I’m doing. A way to check if the hot girl I just met has a boyfriend. An opportunity to see whose birthday it is so I can think about wishing them a happy birthday for a second, then become too lazy to do it and decide to play dumb and pretend I never saw it in the first place.

Here’s an idea. Let’s all agree to delete our Facebook accounts tomorrow.

And one year later, we can celebrate that anniversary as the day the world righted itself.

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