While the nation goes crazy, a man named Bud Weisser tried to save us

A few hours ago, Donald Trump said he wants to bar entry into the United States for all Muslims.

I’m way too aghast at this news to even attempt to formulate an objective, productive post about it. So I’ll let it go, for now.

But I will say this: Most people are smart enough to refrain from posting ethnically, racially or religiously insensitive comments on Facebook, knowing full well that it won’t be received favorably by their peers, and that doing so is essentially equivalent to outing yourself as a bigot.

Sharing the sentiments of someone else who is saying such things?

I see no difference.

Obama Oval OfficeBut anyway, this is obviously a very bizarre time in America right now. Six million people are running for president, and we’re less than a week removed from the most deadly terrorist attack on American soil since Sept. 11, 2001.

People are seething over guns and radical Islam, and there’s so much divisiveness that President Obama felt obliged to address the nation directly from the Oval Office on Sunday for just the third time in his presidency.

The world really needs something we can unite behind in agreement — even if it’s not necessarily a positive thing.

Enter one, Bud Weisser.

Let’s face it. This kid never had a chance. You hear unfortunate sob stories all too often of children being born into a life of poverty or crime, or other circumstances so miserable that they never really had a fair shake to become anything but a criminal.

The same goes for any kid who had the bad luck to be named by their Bud Weisserparents Bud Weisser.

And this isn’t one of those things where your parents named you Charles Manson and then some psychopath came along and ruined your name forever.

This Bud Weisser fellow is 19 years old, and the company Budweiser was founded in ’76. No, not 1976 — 1876. What in god’s name were these parents thinking? And don’t give me that “his real birth name is Buddy” nonsense. They knew full well what would end up happening. They knew.

Anyway, Bud Weisser fulfilled his destiny last Thursday when he was arrested for trespassing the Budweiser brewery.

It’s his second arrest in 15 months, as he was charged for breaking into a gas station convenience store last August, presumably to steal Budweiser.

Again, poor dude never had a chance. And even if he is a perpetual screw-up, I think he did this stupid act last week for the greater good. To distract us from the chaos that’s happening in the world.

Because you can’t possibly hear a story about a man named Bud Weisser being arrested at a Budweiser brewery and not temporarily forget what you were thinking about beforehand.

Time Magazine is set to announce its 2015 Person of the Year on Wednesday.

In my mind, the decision has been made.

And his name is one Bud Weisser.

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