How I learned to stop worrying and love Winter Storm Jonas

In my disbelief over B.o.B’s stupidity yesterday, I totally forgot to mention something fairly significant that occurred on the East Coast this past weekend.

Winter Storm Jonas.

People seemed torn over whether they should cater their cultural references to the now defunct Jonas Brothers — damn it Nick Jonas, why’d you have to break free and make it big? — or the classic Weezer song.

But how about some love for Jonas Salk, the man who invented the polio vaccine? Dude should have his own freaking day on the calendar. So when there’s a storm that bears his name, we can’t even give him a shout out? For shame.

Jonas.jpegAnyway, one of the reasons I didn’t think to talk about Jonas yesterday is because, frankly, I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Now don’t get me wrong. It was a massive storm. It dropped more than two feet of snow on several states, was accompanied by fierce, damaging winds, and resulted in the death of more than 40 people.

Indeed, it was the second-biggest storm in New York City history, and broke records elsewhere. For proof, check out this cool time lapse video of a street in the Upper East Side becoming inundated with snow in just 90 seconds.

It also resulted in the cancellation of a Bruce Springsteen concert. When the Boss can’t even play, you know it’s bad.

However, the storm didn’t disrupt me personally because not only did we have ample warning of it, but it occurred on a Saturday. I accepted the fact that I was going to be staying in that day, and consequently, I had a nice, enjoyable day of watching movies and reading.

It was like any other lazy Saturday, except this time there was a blizzard outside. Then Sunday I woke up and dug out. The next day, I went to work like any other Monday.

Not very dramatic.

But clearly I was in the minority where I live. I can’t speak for anywhere else, but people here in Long Island, New York freak out at the mere threat of a snowstorm. It borders on mass hysteria. They stock up on batteries, frozen food, milk, water, gasoline, you name it.

And that’s mainly because the region is full of middle- and upper-middle class people who can’t even imagine a day without bare essentials. I, on the other hand, am a simple man who does not require much.

Essentially, I got to lie around and do nothing all day, and have a perfectly good excuse for it. So not only was Jonas not an inconvenience for me, it was actually a welcoming presence.

Jonas, I don’t care what anyone else says, I’d swipe right on you any day.

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