Today marks the two-week anniversary of the last time I shaved.
I celebrated by eating a meatball hero. Actually, that is a lie. I ate the meatball hero before I even thought about this. Although, a meatball hero in and of itself is a cause for celebration.
But anyway, it wasn’t really a conscious decision. Shaving I mean, not the hero. I just went a few days without doing it and decided to keep going.
After a week, I decided I was going to go for it. So now that I’m well into my first ever foray as a bearded man — at 28 years old, no less — allow me to share some observations.
Foremost, it’s hilarious how self-conscious we are about our own looks. In the past, I always thought that if I went three or four days without shaving, that it was extremely noticeable. That it was obvious that I haven’t shaved and people would realize it.
However, I didn’t get a single comment about my unkempt facial hair until today. Two weeks after I stopped shaving. It took that long.
It’s good to know that, in the future, I can take a week off from shaving and no one would think any less of me.
Another thing I realized is that growing a beard is one of the few ways — if not only — to look older in a positive way. Usually when you’re told you look older, it’s with a negative connotation. Everyone wants to look youthful.
But with a beard, you look older in a more grizzled, sophisticated way. And not only that, but you look like someone who is comfortable with their age and appearance.
And at the end of the day, we all know that’s what really matters. Feeling comfortable. It’s fun to experiment with your look sometimes because you won’t know until you try it. And in my case, I like having a beard.
At least for now, it makes me feel cool, and I have more confidence. Clean shaven, I prefer to linger in the background and not draw any attention. With a beard, I command instant respect.
Whether people actually give it to me remains to be seen.
The jury is also still out on how having a beard affects my stature with the ladies. We do have a weekend coming up, so I will put it to the ultimate test and report back on Monday.
So expect one of two things next week — A recounting of my sexual conquest thanks to my newfound confidence, or a lazy political rant about Donald Trump’s latest shenanigans.
Already mentally preparing for Trump.