Peyton Manning’s last hurrah, Super Bowl Babies and Coldplay’s vanishing act

It’s becoming increasingly more difficult for me to sit and enjoy a game of football knowing what we know now about concussions and the damaging effect that repeated blows to the head has on player’s long-term sanity.

That being said … YESTERDAY WAS SUPER BOWL 50 PEOPLE. BREAK OUT THE HEAVY ARTILLERY AND CRUSH THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THE OTHER TEAM AS HARD AS YOU CAN. BASH THEIR SKULLS AND SHOW NO MERCY! KILL KILL KILL.

Woah. Sorry about that. I don’t know what just happened.

On what has become the most American of nights, all of us, football lovers or not, sit on our couch on Super Bowl Sunday and ignore the fact that everyone we see on the screen will probably have early onset dementia in their 50s.

Super Bowl 50

But let me not get too preachy here. Football players know the risks. And with the knowledge that exists now, young people can at least make their own informed decisions as to whether they wish to pursue the sport.

Honestly, a better script couldn’t really have been written for the game. Peyton Manning, one of the most successful, well-liked and marketable players in the sport’s history, is now able to go out on top. It’s your classic storybook ending.

A defensive battle throughout, the game itself was actually pretty boring. None of the offenses never got in a groove. It doesn’t mean it was a bad game — it just wasn’t exciting.

And the commercials were not much better. The only one that actually made me laugh was a T-Mobile ad featuring Drake.

On the opposite end of the coin, the most cringeworthy commercial was one by the NFL itself, with its “Super Bowl Babies” campaign, which not-so-implicitly celebrated unprotected sex following two most likely drunk football fans immediately following their favorite team’s Super Bowl win. And for some reason, Seal was a part of it.

The commercial probably caused many people born in December to enter into a deep and horrifying trance as they pondered the reason and cause for their existence.

Super Bowl 50 halftime show.jpg
And finally, the halftime show. I know that Coldplay is not universally loved, but I’m a fan. They make pretty good music and who hasn’t blasted the song “Fix You” during a time in their life when they were in dire need of an emotional pick-me-up?

That being said, though Coldplay was featured as the headliner, they very clearly played second fiddle to Beyonce and Bruno Mars.

I have no problem with those two — in fact, they were pretty awesome on Sunday — but, if you’re going to announce a headlining act, shouldn’t they be the most prominently featured part of the performance? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, the halftime show needed more Coldplay.

And even when they re-entered the performance with a closing rendition of the aforementioned “Fix You,” the NFL missed a golden opportunity to let former NFL players with CTE sway arm-in-arm around the stage.

Oh well. Despite the savagery, the brain trauma and the NFL’s blatant disregard for their players’ safety, you know we will all be back, one year from now, for Super Bowl 51.

And nine months later will come the Super Bowl babies.

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