The automation of the Internet begins

I’m a couple of days late on this, but a big congratulations to Endwell, N.Y., whose Little League team won the World Series on Sunday.

It’s especially meaningful to me because Endwell, in central New York near the Pennsylvania border, is just a few miles outside Binghamton, where I attended college.

So in a way, I feel like I was personally connected to this year’s Little League World Series champions. In the same way that Kylie Jenner considers herself one of the Kardashians.

The team from Endwell defeated a squad from South Korea in the deciding game. So you know what they say — all’s well that Endwell.

On another global note, a Civil War ended this week. No, unfortunately, that does not mean the latest Captain America movie was pulled from theaters.

But the Colombian government and its rebel opposition have agreed to a peace accord that officially ends a 52-year conflict.

There’s been a war raging in our hemisphere for more than half a century, and nobody in ShakiraAmerican even knew. The only time we ever even think about Colombia is when we enjoy the things that originated there — like coffee, more coffee, Sofia Vergara and Shakira.

I’m really not sure which of those two exotic females Americans would be most unable to live without. My answer? I could do without Sofia Vergara’s nagging voice, but Shakira’s presence I would welcome whenever, wherever.

OK, enough jokes. Let’s get real now.

One of the major themes in not only this year’s election, but in politics in general, is the economy.

But it’s become an especially charged topic this year amid one candidate’s suggestion that American jobs are being stolen by undocumented immigrants — which economists have debated the truthfulness of.

But as for me, I say those fears are misguided. We’re not losing jobs to immigrants, we’re losing jobs because the American workforce is becoming automated.

Technology has been taking away jobs since the Industrial Revolution. Factories that once required hundreds of workers were downsized with the development of more complex machines.

Computers continued that decline. And now that we’re in the era of smart computers — we’re screwed.

Look no further than Facebook. You all may have noticed that the “trending topics” section along your news feed looks different. And that’s because Facebook recently made the change to remove humans from deciding what’s trending, in an attempt to remove any bias.

AutomationAs a result, we’re no longer informed of why something is trending, but just given a simple list as a result of Facebook’s algorithms. And so far, it hasn’t gone too well.

The words “Megyn Kelly” were trending on Monday, and typically, it’s because she said something stupid. (Although, I’ll be fair, she’s not as big of a blithering idiot as most on that network.)

But instead, her name appeared because a completely fabricated news story was trending about her.

And that, my friends, is something that a computer can’t realize on its own.

So I say let’s change the narrative in politics. Instead of rounding up illegal immigrants, let’s have a mass deportation of smart computers. Because they’re not only taking our jobs, but they’re doing them worse than we could. And that’s tough to do, because humans are natural screw-ups. Just look at what we’ve done to our freaking atmosphere.

Don’t worry folks, the Weinblog will never be taken over by a computer.

Or has it been written by a computer this whole time?

Although I do type this every day on a computer, so it’s not really a trick question.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about. It’s time to go listen to more Shakira. But early 2000s Shakira, none of that “She Wolf” crap.

Yeah, I’m going to let a robot blog for me tomorrow.

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