For the sake of future children everywhere, I hope that that the person who writes the authoritative textbook on history for students decides to go from 2015 straight to 2017.
Between the iconic celebrity deaths, the Chicago Cubs defying order and reason by winning the World Series, and of course, the rambunctious presidential election that resulted in one of the most unpopular president-elects in our nation’s history, it’s safe to say that most people won’t be too upset to turn the calendar over in a few weeks.
But first, as in all years, December is all about reflection.
It’s the time when we review the events of the last 12 months with year-end lists, award nominations, and of course, Time’s selection of Person of the Year.
Before I spoil the major surprise by revealing who that person was, let’s first talk about Tuesday’s nomination announcements for the Teen Choice Awards — I mean, Grammys.
I don’t know If I am becoming more out of touch with today’s popular music, but I have never been more dumbfounded by Grammy nominations than this year.
Four of the five best album nominations belong to Beyonce, Adele, Justin Bieber and Drake.
How in the world is this an accurate reflection of the best music that our nation has to offer? Those are the best albums of the year?
If the Grammys wants to cater to a younger audience and pay homage to the music that makes the biggest dent on the radio and in album sales, then fine, there’s nothing wrong with that.
But we need to recalibrate what exactly the Grammys is. It’s not the best music. It’s the most talked about music.
The fifth person in that category, by the way, must have surprised the majority of people who were expecting it to be rounded out by some one like Frank Ocean or Kanye West.
It’s Sturgill Simpson, a folk/alt-rock musician whose 2016 album, A Sailor’s Guide to Earth, is actually pretty damn good. I’d recommend listening to the track “Welcome to Earth (Polywog),” which should give you a decent idea of what the man is all about.
I laugh when I think about all the teenagers who must have tweeted their confusion over who Sturgill Simpson is on Tuesday morning. Although, in their defense, he was just as surprised as everyone else.
And Time Person of the Year. Obviously it was Donald Trump. There’s no denying that no man played a bigger impact in global conversation this year than him — even if readers preferred Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi.
Hey, Hitler and Stalin (twice!) were also Time Persons of the Year. Just sayin’.
This selection is so obvious that it’s not even really news. If you have to make a Trump Meter of the top news stories involving Donald Trump, it wouldn’t even crack the top 10, following his potential policy-shifting phone call with Taiwan, his spontaneous lambasting of Boeing and his selection of a climate-change dissenter and a WWF founder to his cabinet.
And that’s all in the last six days.
If Trump is the Person of the Year in 2017, 2018 and 2019, too, well then future historians might as well just leave out this entire half-decade when they write the next textbook.
Obama left office in 2017 … and then it was 2021.
They’ll buy that.