Making America great again with … 3 Doors Down?

One of the reasons why we all fondly remember the musical era of the time we grew up in is because it brings us back to the days of our childhood, when responsibilities were limited and we were blissfully ignorant about the ways of the world.

That’s not to say, however, that each decade did not have its fair share of quality music. Nostalgia just makes us remember it that much sweeter.

But one of the reasons why we love the music from the era that we grew up in is because it stays there.

There’s very few musicians that have transcended decades to remain at the top, and when they do, their music usually evolves with the times. And all too often, a musician never quite makes it out of the decade where they found popularity.

For example, I grew up in the ‘90s and early 2000s. Thinking of bands like Lit, the New Radicals, Barenaked Ladies, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Semisonic, Eagle Eye Cherry, Verve Pipe and Len makes me happy.

None of those bands in the 2010s would make any sense. In fact, it would turn my world upside down and I would not like that. (Think George Costanza in Seinfeld: “Worlds collide!”)


Because these bands mostly died with the ‘90s, they will hold a special place in the heart of people like me. They’re like Han Solo, frozen in carbonite, remaining in a bygone era where time stands still. I hear their music, and just like that, I’m a kid again. (Take the hint Backstreet Boys … the money isn’t worth it.)

The last thing we want is for these bands to ruin their legacy by producing subpar music in an ill-advised comeback attempt. It immediately blends your unmitigated memories of your youth with the contemporary struggles of adulthood, which are two things we strongly prefer to remain separate.

And even worse, what we never, ever, want to see in a million years is for these bands to resurface in a context so toxic and so contentious that it tarnishes your memory of them so fiercely that you never want to hear from them again.

Enter 3 Doors Down.

Remember them? They peaked at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 with “Kryptonite” in 2000, and achieved moderate success with catchy singles like “Here Without You,” “Be Like That,” and “Let Me Go.”

Then they fell off the map. Until now.

On Friday, they will perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration.

3 Doors Down, we are letting you go.

And maybe this decision to perform was simply for promotional purposes, and has nothing to do with their political views.

But you’re dead to us now.

Given the combination of the pure randomness of this selection; the fact that 3 Doors Down are complete has-beens; and the validation that this is the best Trump can get to perform at his inauguration, it’s safe to say that the band will be the butt of a lot of jokes.

Accordingly, the Internet wasted no time.

“Trump IS creating jobs. This is 3 Doors Down’s first gig since 2007,” read one tweet.

“If 3 Doors Down is playing the inauguration who’s covering their shifts at Applebees?” read another.

So not only will Donald Trump ruin my future, but you’ve also ruined my childhood.

Thanks bro.

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