A new way to catfish, and tragedy in Baghdad

Remember when being “catfished” meant that you were the victim of an online seduction hoax?

If you don’t, just ask Manti Te’o about it.

Well, forget that MTV-like kerfuffle, because thanks to one diabolical Nashville Predators fan, the term has taken on a whole new meaning.

In case you didn’t hear this story, for Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals between the Predators and the Pittsburgh Penguins on Monday, a hockey devotee named Jake Waddell, of Ohio, decided to:

  • Purchase a catfish
  • Refrigerate it to keep it from rotting
  • Transport it to Pittsburgh from Ohio
  • Flatten it with his truck to reduce its size
  • Store it in between two layers of underwear to gain entry with it into the arena
  • Wait for his opportunity to be near the glass surrounding the ice
  • Throw catfish

Catfish iceThrowing catfish onto the ice is a common practice at the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville. If you think it’s weird, note that in Detroit, they throw octopi.

The fan was then promptly ejected and charged with three misdemeanors.

But the conviction and dedication that this fan showed to complete his scheme is definitely worthy of rebranding the term “catfishing.” Especially when it’ previously accepted definition was pretty dumb to begin with. Bravo sir.

But let’s move from Nashville to Baghdad. The two epicenters of country music.

While everyone is still grieving and mourning the Manchester terrorist attacks, it’s easy to forget that terrorist attacks happen with even greater frequency in the East than the West. In the past several days alone, terrorist attacks by ISIS have caused double digit casualties in Egypt, Iraq and Afghanistan.

The attack in Baghdad on Tuesday occurred at a popular ice cream shop, where parents with their kids often visit, especially during Ramadan to break their fast. More than 30 people were killed.

Baghdad ice cream

This tragedy has barely been mentioned in the U.S., even though, like Manchester, it resulted in the death of innocent children who were just doing things that kids like to do. Instead of going to a pop concert, they were eating ice cream.

Now I’m not going to judge anyone for the fact that one attack received publicity over another, or scrutinize why that happens in the first place, I just wanted to make sure that people who didn’t get the chance to hear about it are now aware.

Speaking of Manchester, Ariana Grande has responded to terror in a big way, first posting an inspiring message on social media, and then announcing that she will beAriana Grande returning to the city this Sunday alongside Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, Coldplay, Pharrell Williams, Usher and more for a benefit concert for the victims’ families.

We will never stop terror. But we we can do is show that it will cause us to live in fear.

When terror happens, we come back with even greater kindness than we showed before the attack.

Terrorists may accomplish their goal of ending lives, but they will never achieve their desire of breaking us down as human beings.

And more importantly, they will never stop us from living in a world where a man can freely walk into a hockey arena and toss a catfish onto the ice.

I’m not all about that bass, but I am a little bit about that bass

Don’t you just love it when an artist goes from complete and utter obscurity to a household name all because of one song?

Anybody who’s checked the Billboard Hot 100 lately may notice a name sitting atop the list, who, six months ago, was probably singing in coffee shops to people waiting on line to order a soy latte topped with a cinnamon drizzle.

“All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor is taking the world by storm. She performed it on The Tonight Show, using classroom instruments Meghan Trainorwith Jimmy Fallon and The Roots, and the song is becoming more popular by the day.

I believe I only heard it for the first time around a month ago. And I can recall my exact reaction upon listening to it.

In the song’s first 30 seconds, I thought it was garbage. For the next 15 seconds after that, I sensed that there might be more to the song than meets the eye. And then, bam, it reaches the hook, and it’s like, “Hot damn, this girl can sing!”

The song kind of starts with that playful talking/rapping style that Ke$ha somehow both started and ruined, and then it instantly feels like a throwback to a song from the 1950s, complete with doo-wop background singers and everything.

Of course, the song’s also being lauded for its message, which implies that we’re all perfect just the way we are. Or rather … just girls. Because as all guys know, we’re allowed to have beer bellies and still be awesome.

Meghan Trainor herself is not exactly your prototypical “skinny girl,” but she’s not fat either, which I presume is exactly why she is singing the song. You can’t have a freaking size 0 model singing about how physical beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Even her name is lacking in appeal. Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are names befitting of sex symbol pop icons.

Meghan Trainor is the name of a girl you stare at for two minutes on Tinder trying to figure out if you want to swipe left or swipe right.

And I really don’t mean that to be insulting. I get the song. I get it. Females shouldn’t waste every moment of their lives trying to look how they Ariana Grande2believe men want them to look. It’s a very positive message for young girls, even if she does use the words “skinny bitches” in the song.

She seems like a very likable girl and I hope Meghan Trainor has a career beyond being a one-hit wonder. But, if you’re going to be a one-hit wonder, at least do it for being all about that bass. I’m still not even entirely sure what that means.

Speaking of girls who will not be one-hit wonders. Ariana Grande.

God damn, how much could one girl luck out in life? She’s not only gorgeous, with a bubbly and effervescent personality and an irresistibly cute smile, but the girl has one of the best singing voices, like, ever.

Just check out her performance on Saturday Night Live last week, when she slows down “Break Free” into an acoustic version, highlighting her incredible vocals.

She seems to be in that pop/dance blend mode right now, which is all the rage these days, but I hope she sings more stuff like this moving forward. Because her voice is just too good for her not to.

But, on that same Billboard Hot 100 list, “Break Free” currently sits at #7, six spots behind Meghan Trainor.

I guess the world is just all about that bass.