Finally somebody has found the best possible use for cat memes

Am I really going to talk about cat memes for the second time in my last three blog posts?

Too late. I’ve already started.

The entertainment value of posting cat pictures is widely documented. It works in practically any situation.

Including, as the fine people of Brussels, Belgium have shown us in recent days, when a nation is on high alert of the threat of terrorism.

Last week’s Paris attacks have had far-reaching implications, including in neighboring Belgium, the location where not only the suspected (and recently deceased) mastermind of the attacks grew up, but where other suspects implicated in the carnage are believed to be hiding.

Belgian catsConsequently, the typically thriving and tourist infested city has been paralyzed in recent days as Belgian military and police scour the area. Residents have been told to stay inside, and schools, museums, markets and public transportation have all been closed. During the hunt, 21 people have been detained, and police on Tuesday tweeted a photo of a man whose capture has clearly has become a top priority.

In cooperation with their search, police urged residents to not post any information of their whereabouts on social media out of concern that it may tip off terrorists.

But in today’s technological age, it seems like an unrealistic request, doesn’t it? People are obsessed with social media and receiving up-to-the-second news. Asking them to resist posting information on it is like asking Nicki Minaj to stop making bad music. It’s just what they do.

However, not only have the Belgians obeyed the request, but they’ve done so with a great sense of lightheartedness and levity — by posting humorous cat photos alongside the hash tag #BrusselsLockdown.

It’s provided a way for people to connect with their countrymen during a Belgian cats2fearful time, and I can’t think of any better way to utilize cat photos than this.

Even the police subtly got in on the fun by thanking its residents on Twitter alongside a photo of cat food.

I feel like if an American city was on lockdown, and police requested secrecy, some despicable blogger would post an update of their coordinates every two minutes.

Hey, don’t look at me! I’m not that big of a douche.

But I just want to take this moment to say that Belgians have won some serious respect from me. Even in the midst of terror, they’re able to show some personality and spirit. Before this, the only Belgian commodity I held in high regard was waffles. Not any more.

And it just goes to show — we may all look differently and speak different languages, but we’re all united in the name of silly cat memes.

ISIS, you can never take that away from us.

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Pet owners: take the cucumber away from the cat

The mastermind behind last week’s Paris attacks is dead, the U.S. House of Representatives voted to suspend the flow of Syrian refugees into America, and presidential candidate Ben Carson compared the men and women and children fleeing terrorism to “rabid dogs.”

But let’s talk about cats and cucumbers.

There’s very few things cats can do that wouldn’t translate into a popular Internet meme. Watching them do practically anything is entertaining.

But the enjoyment we get out of humorous cat videos is usually pretty harmless. A cat chasing a laser pointer. A cat sleeping in a weird position.

We get a few laughs out of the cat’s quirky behavior, and the furry feline is none the wiser.

Cat and ccumberExcept, a new meme featuring cats and cucumbers has changed that dynamic, and it’s upsetting animal advocates all over the place.

Videos have gone viral of people stealthily placing a cucumber next to their cat as they’re eating from their food dish. The cat, completely unaware of the green vegetable’s presence, turns around, suddenly sees it, and becomes mortified.

Its protective reflexes then cause it to pounce high in the air in retreat, and naturally, it’s quite the funny sight. And pet owners are capitalizing on the phenomenon by filming it and posting it online.

However, articles are surfacing explaining why people need to stop doing this. For one, they’re saying that it’s not necessarily the fact that cats are afraid of cucumbers, but they fear anything that suddenly appears next to them without them knowing.

So when they turn and see an oddly shaped object in their immediate proximity, they become startled. Especially when it happens near their food dish, a place that cats associate with security and comfort.

Repeating this can cause cats to become stress ridden, cause them to injure themselves when they react by jumping suddenly, and also betray the trust between human and pet.

I’m with the experts here. People, I get the humor out of seeing your cat flip out — almost literally — but imagine being in their shoes. Or paws.

They have no clue what a cucumber is. Of course they’re going to immediately fear that it is a predator. Cucumbers are freaking weird looking.

If I turned my head right now and there was a cucumber six inches away that I did not expect to be there, then it would probably scare the hell out of me too. Heck, if I see anything pop into my peripheral vision that looks unfamiliar, I immediately become alarmed.

And cats are small creatures. A cucumber must look like an anaconda to them at first glance.

Why are people even buying cucumbers, anyway? Even as far as vegetables are concerned, they’re as bland as it gets. They contribute nothing to any dish.

So if you’re contributing to this meme, not only are you a terrible pet owner, but you have a terrible taste in food.

Cat lovers, let’s put a stop to this. Let’s all picket next to the produce section at our local grocery stores. Let’s start a new movement.

Forgot Occupy Wall Street.

Tomorrow, we begin Occupy Cucumber.