The automation of the Internet begins

I’m a couple of days late on this, but a big congratulations to Endwell, N.Y., whose Little League team won the World Series on Sunday.

It’s especially meaningful to me because Endwell, in central New York near the Pennsylvania border, is just a few miles outside Binghamton, where I attended college.

So in a way, I feel like I was personally connected to this year’s Little League World Series champions. In the same way that Kylie Jenner considers herself one of the Kardashians.

The team from Endwell defeated a squad from South Korea in the deciding game. So you know what they say — all’s well that Endwell.

On another global note, a Civil War ended this week. No, unfortunately, that does not mean the latest Captain America movie was pulled from theaters.

But the Colombian government and its rebel opposition have agreed to a peace accord that officially ends a 52-year conflict.

There’s been a war raging in our hemisphere for more than half a century, and nobody in ShakiraAmerican even knew. The only time we ever even think about Colombia is when we enjoy the things that originated there — like coffee, more coffee, Sofia Vergara and Shakira.

I’m really not sure which of those two exotic females Americans would be most unable to live without. My answer? I could do without Sofia Vergara’s nagging voice, but Shakira’s presence I would welcome whenever, wherever.

OK, enough jokes. Let’s get real now.

One of the major themes in not only this year’s election, but in politics in general, is the economy.

But it’s become an especially charged topic this year amid one candidate’s suggestion that American jobs are being stolen by undocumented immigrants — which economists have debated the truthfulness of.

But as for me, I say those fears are misguided. We’re not losing jobs to immigrants, we’re losing jobs because the American workforce is becoming automated.

Technology has been taking away jobs since the Industrial Revolution. Factories that once required hundreds of workers were downsized with the development of more complex machines.

Computers continued that decline. And now that we’re in the era of smart computers — we’re screwed.

Look no further than Facebook. You all may have noticed that the “trending topics” section along your news feed looks different. And that’s because Facebook recently made the change to remove humans from deciding what’s trending, in an attempt to remove any bias.

AutomationAs a result, we’re no longer informed of why something is trending, but just given a simple list as a result of Facebook’s algorithms. And so far, it hasn’t gone too well.

The words “Megyn Kelly” were trending on Monday, and typically, it’s because she said something stupid. (Although, I’ll be fair, she’s not as big of a blithering idiot as most on that network.)

But instead, her name appeared because a completely fabricated news story was trending about her.

And that, my friends, is something that a computer can’t realize on its own.

So I say let’s change the narrative in politics. Instead of rounding up illegal immigrants, let’s have a mass deportation of smart computers. Because they’re not only taking our jobs, but they’re doing them worse than we could. And that’s tough to do, because humans are natural screw-ups. Just look at what we’ve done to our freaking atmosphere.

Don’t worry folks, the Weinblog will never be taken over by a computer.

Or has it been written by a computer this whole time?

Although I do type this every day on a computer, so it’s not really a trick question.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about. It’s time to go listen to more Shakira. But early 2000s Shakira, none of that “She Wolf” crap.

Yeah, I’m going to let a robot blog for me tomorrow.

Steve Harvey, you had one job. Just one.

For about two minutes on Sunday night, the people of Colombia had much to celebrate. For the second straight year, a woman from their nation had been crowned Miss Universe.

And then Steve Harvey happened.

The affable, if sometimes snarky comedian, who has breathed new life into Family Feud with his biting sense of humor, hosted the pageant.

And really, as host of Miss Universe, you only have one thing to do. It’s not the Emmys, where you’re expected to open the show with a funny monologue. Nor is it the Tonys, where a song and dance number is customary.

Miss UniverseYou announce the winner. That’s it. You read from a card. It’s your only task.

And yet, Steve Harvey butchered it in the most painfully awkward way possible when he accidentally declared the first runner up, Ariadna Gutierrez Arevalo, as the winner.

His embarrassing error was made on a grand stage for the entire world to see. But let’s not get too worked up — it’s the furthest thing from a scandal. It was simply an innocent mistake.

Did he deprive a young woman from a glorious honor she would have wore proudly for her entire life? Sure. Did he all but guarantee that the Colombian cartel will hunt him down if he steps anywhere near the country’s borders? Probably.

And did he ensure that he will be forever associated with this gaffe for the rest of his life? Most definitely.

But other than all that, it wasn’t too big of a deal.

The real winner, Pia Wurtzbach, of the Philippines, was the benefactor of Steve HarveyHarvey’s blunder. And let’s face it — she’s the hotter one, anyway. The result never should have been in doubt.

It’s reasons like this why social media exists. Human boneheadedness is the oxygen that Twitter and Facebook require for survival, and Steve Harvey just delivered a lifetime supply.

Any one who’s ever embarrassed themselves in grand fashion could empathize with Steve Harvey. And he was forced to admit and take responsibility for his mistake live on television, as he hopelessly waved the results card at the camera to show he wasn’t pulling some type of prank.

And to make matters worse, he issued an apology tweet after the show, misspelling both Colombia and the Philippines in the process. To be fair, 50 percent of people probably spell the Philippines wrong on their first try.

But at the end of the day, it provided the best water cooler conversation material of 2015. Don’t even deny that you spent the first 20 minutes of work Monday morning discussing this incident with your colleagues. You’re probably the one who put the YouTube video on your computer to show your co-workers who didn’t know about it.

Steve Harvey, meanwhile, never known for his intellect to begin with, just needs be his old, playful self moving forward. And he’ll be fine.

And he also accomplished something else.

He’s the first person to embarrass theirself on national television in the last five months who isn’t running for the Republican nomination for president!