There’s something about Putin

For the most part, Jimmy Fallon’s performance as host of last Sunday’s Golden Globes was quite uneventful.

It began with his teleprompter failing him in the show’s opening minute, and yet, he neglected to make a single Mariah Carey joke.

But Jimmy did make one funny quip during the production. It was a clever mix of a routine awards show announcement blended with politics.

He said, “The ballots for tonight’s Golden Globes were carefully tabulated by the accounting firm of Ernst and Young and Putin.”

It was a good joke. On the rating scale, I give it a 10 out of 10.

The humor stems from allegations by American intelligence agencies that Putin led  a campaign to smear Hillary Clinton in order to sway our election and get Donald Trump elected. Did it work? Maybe. But nonetheless, it’s made the Russian President public enemy number one.

vladimir-putin

It’s amazing how much his name has come up since the latter stages of the presidential election, beginning with Trump’s odd affection towards him while speaking on the campaign trail.

First it was Putin ordering the hacking of the Democratic National Committee. Then it was Putin infringing on our election process. This week, we’re wondering just how close Secretary of State nominee Rex Tillerson is with the man. And on Wednesday, unsubstantiated reports of a secret Russian dossier containing personal and professional dirt on Donald Trump was the headline story.

So what is it about this man that has people so obsessed?

You can’t talk international politics without Russia. It is a permanent member of the United Nations Security Council, and the largest country by surface area. Oh, and that whole Cold War thing.

Putin has been Russia’s leader since 2000. Before that, he was a KGB foreign intelligence officer for two decades. So the man knows something about covert operations.

He also just looks untrustworthy. There’s no way you can look at Vladimir Putin and think, “You know what? I would trust that man with my children.”

The truth of the matter, though, is that Putin is a possible war criminal whose political enemies often wind up dead. He is not a man who represents American interests, and given his history, there is no way he can ever be a real ally to the U.S.

So that is why it drives people crazy when Trump speaks about him so adoringly.

It must be quite entertaining for Russians to see just how infatuated we are with him, though. Next thing you know he’ll be chased by Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon, Chris Elliott and Brett Favre (see today’s post title if that joke did not hit, which it probably did not because it wasn’t that good. A 4 out of 10 on the rating scale.)

And it’s extremely reasonable to wonder how close Rex Tillerson is with Putin. As the president of ExxonMobil, not only does he hold more assets in Russia than anywhere else, but he was once bestowed the highest award a foreign citizen can receive from the Russian government.

With 52 Republicans and 48 Democrats in the Senate, at least two Republicans would have to turn against their party to reject Tillerson.

Fortunately, Marco Rubio laid the hammer down during Tillerson’s confirmation hearings on Wednesday.

Go get him, Little Marco. This is your time.

And if Russian hackers are reading this right now … well, someone please notify the CIA if I’m not back on Monday.

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Voting for Trump is no longer about left vs. right, or liberal vs. conservative. It’s right vs. wrong.

Listen son, come sit down for a second. It’s time we had a talk. We’ve been waiting as long as we can to avoid having to do this, but there comes a day in every boy’s life when he must learn. And it’s every parent’s right to be the one to tell them. So here it goes.

It’s time we talked about Donald Trump.

Amazingly, this is a conversation many parents have probably been forced to have with their kids over the last several weeks.

Because believe it or not, this weekend brought us to a new low in the Republican campaign. Calling it a train wreck is an insult to train wrecks.

We now live in a country where the front-runner for one of our major political parties is not only a bigot, but an instigator and an advocate for violence.

Trump violence.jpg

Since his campaign began, Trump rallies have been marked by protesters. And the aggressive and feisty tone that he has taken with these protesters has been well documented. And it all came to a head last Friday in Chicago, when violence caused one of his rallies to be canceled.

You know, Chicago. A heavily diverse city with many minorities, particularly Blacks and Latinos. As in, the same people who Trump has been subtly and not-so-subtly insulting for the past year.

If you spew hatred, it’ll come right back at you.

Trump has been so divisive that his mere presence drives people to violence. Foreign leaders are comparing him to Hitler and Mussolini. And even fellow Republican presidential candidates, who all signed a pledge to support the eventual Republican nominee, are beginning to waver.

This is not good. And it’s pretty clear that people who still support Trump are enjoying the chaos that he’s causing in Washington right now, and simply don’t care enough to even understand the danger that would come about if we put him in the White House.

(Though, this eerily relevant 1964 campaign ad for Lyndon B. Johnson that’s making rounds on the Internet should hold true for many Republicans today.)

As much as I hate to say it, I think what we saw in Chicago is only the tip of the iceberg. The longer Trump sticks around, the more violence will ensue.

And while people will deflect blame to the protesters — who, I will fully admit are far from innocent — there’s no doubt that Trump’s hate speech is what has driven them to such desperate measures.

If you don’t want to see America be diminished to a riot state, if you believe that love prevails over hate, and if you truly want to see people of all cultures, races, religions and skin colors work together to solve problems, then stop voting for this clown.

Let’s make America great again.

To the point we were at before Donald Trump decided to run for president.

18 months until the next presidential election is a long time for us not to care.

In the past couple of weeks, a host of politicians have tossed their names into the hat to become the most powerful person in the United States. Meanwhile, voters don’t even head into the booths to pick the next president for another 18 months.

The average American’s attention span barely lasts 18 seconds.

Do you know what’s going to happen in the next 18 months? People who are totally irrelevant in the eyes of the public will become internationally famous musicians because of one horrible, yet catchy, hit single.

Marvel will make 19 moves that accrue more money combined than the Gross Domestic Product of 92 countries.

There will be 42,864 cat memes posted on social media platforms that haven’t even been invented yet.

HillaryTaylor Swift will have four boyfriends, get back together with two, cheat on one, marry the other, get divorced, and channel all of that emotion into a record-breaking album that wins every single Grammy award in 2016, including Best Spoken Word Album.

Honestly, I know the general American public. We go way back. And they do not give two shits about who is running for an office that won’t even be abdicated for almost two years.

Campaigning is an arduous task and it may be true that a lot of time is needed to be able to connect with voters in every state, but really, you could announce you’re running for president two weeks before Election Day and most people would not know the difference.

The only reason you’d likely even come into mainstream attention from now until November ’16 is if you say or do something stupid. And that’s another drawback of announcing so early.

Right now, Hilary Clinton on the Democratic side, and Republican Senators Rand Paul, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio have all officially declared their intent to seek the presidency, and the only people who really care are George Stephanopoulos and all of the late night variety hosts who now have a year-plus worth of material.

It’s basically a bad political version of Too Many Cooks.

Obviously, it is very important for us to be aware of who might be our next president. But the idea that it is supposed to hold the average citizen’s interest for 18 months is laughable. In this new digital age, people only want the information that they need to know right now. Even as I type this, things are changing. What’s viral and popular right this second will not be anymore in five minutes.

People who grew up with social media don’t even understand the concept of having an attention span. They’ve only known an age where information is readily available the moment it happens. What’s trending on Twitter right now will be an afterthought in the next hour.

We’ll all be different people in 18 months, in a world of new memes, technology and pop culture celebrities. Who might be president 18 months from now is the last thing on our mind.

But one thing that won’t change? In 18 months, I will still be the most beloved blogger in all of your hearts.