Climate change is the most boring doomsday villain ever

Since the dawn of civilization, we have been forewarned about about the downfall of humanity.

That idea has been heavily explored — and at times, even glorified — in literature, film and television in a number of ways.

Some are realistic, such as nuclear warfare and plague, some not so much — the zombie outbreak, the Rapture. Yet, all are entertaining and make for good science-fiction.

But what’s ironic is that arguably the most inevitable cause of our planet’s collapse is the one that nobody really takes too seriously: climate change.

Indeed, there are segments of our population that choose to downright ignore the fact that human beings are bringing about harmful changes in weather patterns.

Climate changeThe reason? Because the threat is not imminent.

It’s true that there is tangible evidence of global warming: melting ice caps, rising sea levels, warmer average temperatures. However, nobody who is reading this right now — even somebody born this morning — will live long enough to see the day climate change destroys Earth.

And if you were born this morning and somehow have the ability to read and comprehend what I am saying, then you probably will be the one who singlehandedly fixes this problem. Congratulations on your future success, baby genius.

But for today, the formidable task of saving our planet before it’s too late is in the hands of our world leaders, who, conveniently, are meeting in Paris right now to discuss that very thing.

In a way, it does seem a bit paradoxical that, in the midst of the recent Paris attacks, the ever-worsening Syrian refugee crisis, and whatever most recent mass shooting happened in America, hundreds of world leaders are directing all of their energy not to discuss ISIS or gun control, but to talk about the weather.

And yet, on the opposite side of the coin, what’s more important than saving the planet that we live on? And why doesn’t the average person care more about this?

I think some fault lies with the comically bad 2008 M. Night ShyamalanThe Happening film, The Happening, which presented us with a ludicrous interpretation of how nature could bring about the end of the world.

Except, according to that film, it’s the plants that were pissed off and decided to fight back. Somehow. With like, chemicals and stuff.

I still don’t understand how plants were ever the antagonists of any film, let alone a horror film. And I seriously believe its absurdity diminished our worry of climate change.

You heard it here first. If climate change brings about the destruction of our planet, as many think it will, then the blame should fall squarely on the shoulders of M. Night Shyamalan.

And for good measure, let’s say it’s Mark Wahlberg’s fault, too.

On second thought, let’s only blame Mark Wahlberg.