We can now all exhale.
The Super Bowl has come and gone. The Baltimore Ravens are the champions, and the Harbaugh brothers can go back to sword fighting and having snowball fights in the backyard of their childhood home, right before Mrs. Harbaugh calls them in for hot chocolate before bedtime.
No longer does everybody have to worry and stress out about their Super Bowl plans, and we can go all go back to our plain, boring and uneventful Sundays.
I have to be fair, though. I spent considerable time bashing the Super Bowl last week, but it really wasn’t that bad. In fact, all in all, this is was one of my more memorable, enjoyable Super Bowl experiences in recent memory. Plenty of things attributed to that, and in order to best explain all of those things, I am going to break down all of the significant moments from yesterday’s Super Bowl Sunday.
An exciting game
I mentioned last week how sometimes the media overhypes the Super Bowl, only so so that we could all be let down when the game fails to come through with any excitement.
With the Ravens leading the game at halftime, 21-6, only to take a 28-6 lead following the second half kickoff, it actually looked like we were set to have one of worst Super Bowls of all time. But after a vicious comeback which saw the 49ers score 17 points in just over four minutes, it turned into a thriller. And thank goodness for that, because if you’re going to invest time, travel and money while sacrificing your physical appearance by indulging in god-awful, unhealthy foods, then by golly — I at least want a good game!
It would be like the ancient Romans going to the Colosseum and watching the tiger eat the gladiator in like two minutes. Come on, gladiator man, at least put up a fight. If Russell Crowe can do it, you can too.
But not only did we get an exciting game, we got a blackout!
The 45-minute blackout was certainly a first in Super Bowl history. It was one of those things where it was cool at first, because it was unprecedented and unexpected, but after five minutes people were saying, “Yeah, I have to wake up early for work tomorrow, so, uhh, if the power could come back on… that would be great.”
I also love how media analysts keep saying things like, “Blackouts happen, but in the Super Bowl?! That should NEVER happen.”
Why is that, exactly? Was the city of New Orleans infusing all the Earth’s power into the arena for that one night, just because it was the Super Bowl? Should they have had 1,000 foot tall generators sitting behind a curtain, just lurking there like the Wizard of Oz, in the rare instance that half of the stadium’s lights were to go out?
There’s never a convenient time for a blackout. And when they do happen, they’re pretty random. So I don’t see how anyone could consider it out of the realm of possibility that it could occur during a Super Bowl.
The safety that ruined box pools everywhere
Let me break into a first-person story right here — The score was the Ravens 34, 49ers 29, with about 12 seconds remaining. What numbers did I have in my box pool? Why, 4 for the Ravens and 9 for the 49ers, of course!
Once the 49ers failed to score at the end of the game, I was already attributing the final prize money to my belongings. I considered it full ownership. Although the money was still sitting unattended, since it was not official yet, I could physically feel it inside of my wallet. It was mine.
And then, the Ravens punter runs out of the back of his own endzone, and that was that.
Truth be told, it was just $100 — which is never unwelcome — but I was kind of amused by the thought of other people in the world losing out on thousands upon thousands of dollars because of that play. Gambling during Super Bowls is an age-old American decision, and you can always expect some quirky happening to screw people out of money.
That definitely qualified.
Beyonce on a mission
After her highly-discussed Presidential Inauguration performance, we all knew that Beyonce was on a quest to show the world she can sing a live performance without added background vocals. This halftime performance was her Zero Dark Thirty.
I have to admit, after all the classic rock musicians — with the exception of Madonna last year — who have performed lately during Super Bowl halftimes, like Tom Petty, The Who, Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen, I didn’t mind a little changeup.
I love those guys. They make our world a better place with their gift of song, but it was a bit refreshing to see somebody a little more contemporary.
It seemed like Beyonce was definitely trying really hard to put forth a grade-A effort, and I think her desire to sing live may affected her vocals considering all of the dancing she did, but I think that any Beyonce fans who were highly anticipating the performance probably came away very pleased.
Plus, how can anybody be upset with a Destiny’s Child reunion?
If you were looking for a pristine, refined vocal performance, then this halftime show probably wasn’t for you. But if you were looking for something more fun and energetic with an added bit of pizzazz, then you got that in spades.
Plus anytime I am afforded an opportunity to look at Beyonce, it’s never really something that I am going to complain about.
Oh yeah, the commercials
We already discussed the tear-jerking Budweiser Clydesdale commercial in my last post, and seeing it live on the big screen was no less emotional.
Honestly, none of the commercials really stood out to me too much. I think the Joe Montana Miracle Stain Tide commercial and the Goat for Sale Doritos commercial may have been the funniest ones. And who would have guessed that a laundry detergent would ever steal the show during the Super Bowl?
Also, that Dodge Ram farmer commercial was agonizing — two freaking minutes devoted to a 30-year-old speech by conservative radio broadcaster Paul Harvey, voiced over clips of farmers and hay? I mean, I understand that the point of advertising is to catch people’s attention — in a good or bad way — but why would you subject other human beings to that? I felt like that was a video that should have been shown in Guantanamo Bay, and not during the Super Bowl.
And what the heck was with the Go Daddy ad? You all know which one I am talking about.
I actually saw this commercial on YouTube about three days before the Super Bowl, and I refused to believe that this would actually air. Where the hell was the FCC on this one? How they allowed a closeup make-out session to air during the most-watched broadcast in the country, where families with small children are watching the game together, is beyond me.
And yet, there it was. Another question is why Bar Refaeli ever agreed to do this commercial? Isn’t something like this is a little degrading for her? She’s an absolutely gorgeous Israeli supermodel who used to date Leonardo DiCaprio, and now, she’s French kissing fat geeky guys on television. Did she even know that this would be aired, or was something that was lost in translation?
Actually, I’ll take some of that back. This commercial was much less appalling than the movie trailer for the Fast and the Furious 6.
I spent more time on Twitter than I actually did watching the game
Now that the entire world is on Twitter, it makes it extremely interesting to follow popular events on social media.
I follow about 600 people on Twitter, and I promise you that all 600 were watching the Super Bowl. Every Tweet during the course of the near five-hour game was about the Super Bowl, and I was very interested in seeing what everybody had to say.
In the past, you had to wait until after the game — or even the next day — to see what the public reaction was to certain events. Now I have to wait maybe one or two seconds.
The impact of social media was especially amplified during the 3rd quarter blackout. I would update my Twitter feed, and see 20 new Tweets over the course of 30 seconds. The word “Bane” was trending within five minutes, and people made a lot of Long Island Power Authority jokes, but here was easily my favorite Tweet of the night —
As you all remember, Ray Lewis was implicated in a double murder investigation a little more than a decade ago, but was never charged due to a lack of evidence.
And kids, remember, murder is not funny. Unless it’s Tweeted tastefully, that is.
On Super Bowl Sunday, you may as well just embrace the fact that you are going to overindulge in fattening foods, and not even spend any time worrying about it. Although, I must admit that I did a good job by not drinking any beers during the game. I was the designated driver, and while that usually means drinking the most you possibly can while still being able to pass a breathalyzer test, I decided to behave and lay off the booze altogether.
That being said, my Super Bowl party got catering from Moe’s Southwest Grill, and now my stomach hates me.
Still worth it.
And of course, Super Bowl Sunday is followed by Gym-goer Monday. Between the fact that it was a Monday, that it’s still early enough in the year where people are abiding by their New Year’s resolution to lose weight, and that it was the day following the Super Bowl — I knew that the gym was going to be a nightmare. And sure enough, as I walked to the row of treadmills inside my gym, every single one of them was taken. I had to stand there and pretend to stretch like a moron while I waited for one to become available.
All good things must come to an end
But at the end of the day, as I pulled into my driveway at about 12:45 a.m. (thanks a lot, blackout), I was very pleased with the day’s events, and dare I say it… I’m actually looking forward to next year’s Super Bowl? But as a New York Jets fan, it’s safe to say that feeling will be short lived.
That is, unless Bar Refaeli is already holding auditions for a new makeout mate for next year’s big game? Then I’m more than down.